


The Troubles that Follow

by Sugarbubbleslove



Series: The Troubles that Follow [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Comfort, F/M, Flashback sex, Friendship, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Kink, Multiple Pairings, Post Comics, Rough Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, assurance, kink meme prompts, prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-03-13 14:50:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 40,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3385799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sugarbubbleslove/pseuds/Sugarbubbleslove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter where they go, no matter what they do, trouble will follow them. (A series of multiple pairings)<br/>Chapter 10: Forgive Me - Varric/Malika Cadash - They remember, and everything is awkward</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 5 Times Ellana played with Magic, 1 Time Solas Joined Her - Solas/Ellana Lavellan

Title: The Troubles That Follows

Characters: Origins/Awakening/II/Inquisition

Rating: Teen to Adult

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone/anything from the forum Dragon Age. Bioware owns Dragon Age and its characters. There is no copyright infringement intended. I do not make any profit/money or take any credit.

Summary: No matter where they go, no matter what they do, trouble will follow them.

Timeline: Ranging from Origins to Inquisition with a bunch of Pre & Post Games

Warning: Multiple pairings, sexual themes, violence, kink, prompts (will also be placed in Warning Section of each Chapter)

Author's Notes: Each Chapter title (in the box) will contain the main pairing of the story (other pairings will be placed in 'pairing' section).

Each story is a one-shot (unless otherwise stated), will be unrelated to each other (unless otherwise stated) and is written as prompts (personal and Kink meme prompts).Some will also be related to other stories (will be stated).

 

Title: 5 Times Ellana played with magic, the 1 Time Solas joined her

Pairings: Solas/Ellana Lavellan

Rating: Teen

Summary: She fascinates him in many ways, more than she really should

Timeline: Throughout Inquisition

Warning: Magic-play? Shy!Lavellan, Bold!Solas

'5 Times Ellana played with her Magic, 1 Time Solas joined her'

**1: The Barrier around his Heart**

He had not meant to come across her. He had taken to wandering around Haven, enjoying the peace away from the people. Most of them were still jittery around mages, not that he could blame them, but it wore on the nerves.

This had led him to seeing Ellana on the docks near the frozen lake. She was sitting cross-legged, her eyes closed with her palms overlaying, as if she was reaching for water.

He watched, curious to what she was doing. This type of meditation that was unfamiliar to him. Then his eyes widen as a light blue glow started up around her. A barrier – he recognised it from his numerous times he had to cast the spell on his companions as they rushed into danger.

However, he had never seen her use the spell in battle.

She rolled her shoulders causing the barrier to brighten then darken.

She let out a breath and it flickered around her, snapping at the air.

She inhaled and it drew in closer, almost curling around her protectively.

Her long blonde hair took on the shade of blue hue and it made him think of her eyes when she brought her hands up to her chest.

The Barrier changed colour, slowly turning green then to yellow. A frown of concentration crossed her brows as she inhaled sharply then gritted her teeth.

It changed to red, then purple; white then black, a smoky grey before her expression smoothed and it returned to its blue hue. He tilted his head, leaning on his staff as he watched curiously.

He knew of the changing barriers. Each one represented protection from each element. A spell he had not seen cast in the years he awoke, nor the years he had slept. He wondered if she came across the spell during her travels – or if someone taught her.

Her hands fell to her knees and a smile crossed her lips. He instinctively knew that she had sensed him as her barrier slowly faded away.

"Hello Solas," she greeted calmly as she opened her eyes, turning to look at him.

"My apology, I did not mean to disturb you." He moved closer to her, tilting his head and she smiled, shaking her head.

"You did not," she assured him, pushing to stand up. He held out a hand, causing her to look at it before she looked at him. Her smile turned shy as she slipped her hand into his, allowing him to balance her as she rose to her full height.

"I must admit, I have never seen you use the barrier spell in battle," he told her once she was firmly on her feet and she tilted her head, amusement shining in her strange eyes. One moment, he would swear that they were blue, the next they would be a shade of green.

"You do a good job of protecting everyone," she reminded him and he felt his cheeks heat. "It seems to be overkill if I were to add my barrier to yours. Though we probably should do so when it comes to Iron Bull."

He chuckled; knowing when it came to Iron Bull, there were not enough barriers to protect him when he rushed into battle.

"You were meditating," he told her and she nodded.

"I was young when I discovered my magic, younger than most would in the Clans. Therefore, my magic was not under control. I was never the most patient child." Her smile turned sheepish. "My Keeper taught me mediation."

"Ah, meditating to control your magic while building it to be stronger," he summarised, amazed and she nodded shyly.

"It also helped me to stop setting people on fire." She blushed at his curious glance. "I...did not have the best temper for a child with magic."

He blinked before he chuckled; she continued to amaze him each day.

"I am amazed at how well you control your magic. Most Dalish mages I have met tend to..." He paused, unsure.

"Show off?" She asked and he gave her a short nod. "It is not restricted to Dalish mages, I am afraid. There are hunters who do the same thing. However, I know how dangerous my magic can be and I do not wish to have to deal with demons who may have been tempted by my magic. The Dalish clans are not so...cautious when it comes to Demons, as it seems."

"You are talking of Mihris," he stated.

"Hers were not the only clans where the Keeper felt they could summon and control a demon," she admitted softly. "The clans were just as likely to lose their Keeper to demons as much as humans hunting us."

"What was your clan like?" he asked, curious. Yes – he had met Dalish clans who had driven him away whenever he tried to approach them and hearing things about them had not made him too...acceptable of them.

However, she was of the Dalish clans, she wore Mythal's vallasin, the dark blue ink on her cheeks. It brought out the colour of her eyes, drawing people to her gaze. It worked on him, he noticed quite annoyingly.

"My Keeper never dabbled with demons – as far as I knew," she told him with a wary glint in her eyes and he realised his mistake.

" _Atisha_ , I was not accusing your clan of demons," he assured her and the glint slowly faded.

"My Keeper always warned me of those who would try and tempt me while I slept. I have been lucky – so far – not to have encountered them."

"Truly?" He asked, surprised by her confession.

She nodded, frowning. "Is that unusual?"

He pondered it for a moment. "It could be that you can protect yourself in your sleep," he told her. "Or that you do not draw them to you. You are powerful – that I can sense. So it is possible that maybe you somehow mask your magic in your sleep."

"Solas," He looked back at her. "No experiments." He flushed as he realised what he had been doing.

" _Abelas_ ," he told her and she shook her head.

"No,  _Abelas_ ," she returned and it jolted him to hear her speak in Elvish. He knew the Clans tried to hold onto their elven speech but he had rarely heard it from her. "My fault. I should have not been so quick to accuse. My Keeper had wished to experiment why demons would not approach me but I refused to do so."

"Wise choice," he slowly admitted, not wanting to anger her. "These are the kind of things that is not something to be messed with. If you have a natural protection and if something were to happen, you could easily lose that protection or turn it into a beacon that would draw the demons to you ten-fold."

"Oh." He realised what he did and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Well, let's see if I shall sleep now."

"I did not mean for it to come out like that," he muttered. She laughed and he looked at her, startled. He had rarely heard her laugh, rarely saw her smile.

She looked so carefree in that moment, her cheeks rosy, and her smile bright, her eyes sparkling as she looked at him.

"Either way,  _Ma serannas_ ," She tipped her head in acknowledgement. "For someone like you so well versed in the Fade to understand where I am coming from, it is a relief."

"Someone like me?" he had to ask and there was a teasing edge to her smile.

"You know, so wise and knowing." She tilted her head.

"Yes, so wise and knowing that you ignore my advice when you step too close to the edges of the cliffs," he reminded her, getting an exasperated look in return. He chuckled. "I understand your meaning."

"So, what brought you out all this way, Solas?" Ellana asked, gaining that curious glint in her eyes. He liked seeing that glint, liked knowing she was curious.

"I was merely walking. The people of Haven are not..."

"Used to Elves, especially mages," she finished as he trailed off and he nodded. "Well, I hope I had proved to be an interesting distraction from your intended destination."

Oh – she had no idea how close she was to being right with that statement.

"You were creating elemental barriers – that is not something I have seen in a while," he told her. She tilted her head and he felt himself back peddling. "Out here, I mean. I have seen my fair share in the Fade. Many mages used to use those barriers in battles."

"Hmm," He wondered if she was getting closer to the truth each time he slipped up. "It is a difficult spell to master," she admitted. "It takes energy and I am unsure if it is because it is a spell long forgotten thus it is difficult to master or if it is due to my mana – that I simply do not have enough to be able to hold it."

"Things have changed a great deal since those battles," Solas agreed. "It was my understanding that time back then, magic was not as feared as it is now. Maybe it could be due to your lack of chances to use each barrier. Of course, you could not risk using them in battle since they pain you just to try practising them..." He trailed off when he realised what he was saying, noticing the smile playing on her face and cleared his throat. "I mean, I would be willing to help you practise, if you wish. There is a great deal of information on how to expand one mana if wished."

"Are you offering your help?" she asked. He could hear the teasing in her voice.

"If you are not against it," he agreed and her smile softened.

" _Ma serannas_ ," She gently squeezed his hand, startling him into looking down before it dawned on him that he had not let her hand go after helping her up. He looked back up at her to see her cheeks now had a light blush before she let go and walked away.

He watched her go before shaking his head. He cannot allow himself to fall in deep.

**2: His Icy Resolve**

She never failed to amaze him as he watched her, enchanted. She was dancing on the surface of the lake, sheets of ice left in her wake. The concentration it must take to hold her balance on the ice, to create the perfect amount of ice to hold her weight yet; she made it look so effortlessly.

They were currently camping at the Forbidden Oasis. She had slipped away some time ago, stating she was going to look for herbs. He had grown concerned when she failed to return with each passing moment and decided to look for her.

Ellana was humming – a song he recognised due to the Bard in Haven singing it – as she glided over the water. Her hips swayed, her hands in the air as she spun on her toes, dipping and bending in ways he had only had seen in dancers.

He had lost all track of time, just watching her. Flakes of ice sprayed into the air whenever she changed direction. The ice would glitter, seemly lightning up under her touch.

Her skin glittered and he peered closely to see her skin had taken on an icy form. It surprised him. He had never seen, or heard, of that happening before. Her lips were frosty, glittery, and when she parted her them, her breath came out misty.

He clutched his staff tighter as he watched the strange yet wonderful woman before him. She continued to surprise him, continued to confound him, and continued to make his heart beat faster at the sight of her.

Ellana slowly stopped her dancing, her humming slowly fading away as she bowed and she caught sight of him. She smiled shyly, her cheeks flushing. She straightened, her skin going back to their lightly tanned tone, her lips returning to their dark pink colour and he licked his own lips before cursing.

"Solas," She walked toward him, her hips swaying before he noticed, at the edge, the ice had formed into a small staircase, allowing her to step gracefully down onto the ground.

"You have a remarkable control over your abilities," he told her, impressed. It had been a long time since he saw that level of mastery. She had better control over her ice than she did over her barriers.

"Ice is easier to work with than my barriers," she agreed with a smile as she came to a stop in front of him. "Ice has a substance, barriers do not. So I find it does not take as much concentration."

"Is this something you do within the Clans?" he asked and she shook her head.

"We were warned against using our magic. Templars and Chantry do frown upon us." He frowned. So much had changed since he had awakened but this fear of magic was the one that had changed the most. "So when I saw this," she gestured at the lake, "I had to do it."

He smiled at the bright smile on her face. He liked seeing her excited when it came to her magic. It was refreshing to see after seeing so many in fears of their powers, claiming it was a curse.

"I can see why you could not resist," he gently teased her, enjoying the way her cheeks flushed as she lowered her eyes, winding a lock of her blonde hair around her finger. A habit, he knew, she had whenever she was deep in thought or bashful.

"Why are you all the way out here?" she changed the topic and he grinned ruefully at her.

"I had come looking for you. I had been worried that something had happened when you failed to appear after searching for herbs."

" _Abelas!_ " Her eyes were wide. "I did not mean to be distracted!"

He chuckled, lifting a hand. "Calm yourself. The others were not as concerned as I." She sighed, her shoulders slumping in relief. "We should return before the others think we have been captured," he told her and she laughed as she picked up her bag, filled with herbs if the bulge was anything to go by.

"Or ran away," She winked at him before heading toward the camp. He watched her go with a shake of his head and amused smile before he looked back at the lake once more

The ice was slowly melting, just like his resolve.

**3: The Flames of his Desire**

Ellana was sitting cross-legged in the courtyard of Skyhold, a group of children surrounding her. She was smiling brightly, her cream and green halter neck shirt, which tied at the back of her neck; playing off perfectly with her lightly tanned skin. She shifted, her black breeches tightening around her thighs and he cleared his throat, breaking free of his thoughts.

Too many times had his thoughts wander in paths it should have not wandered. He had to keep his distance but he was finding it difficult with each day they became closer. She often sought him out, asking him questions and wanting to listen to his tales of his travels within the Fade.

Solas decided he wanted to know what she was up and slowly made his way down the stairs, taking care to ensure she did not see him. He liked watching her.

She lifted one hand and a ball of flame started dancing in her palm. The children were watching, eyes glued to the fire before begging for more magic.

Ellana smiled and began talking to them. He was still too far to hear so he moved in closer, keeping his footstep light until he could hear her.

"-what's your favourite colour?" she asked and he frowned, bewildered.

"Your eyes!" the little girl said, her brown eyes shiny with happiness. "They are so beautiful." Ellana blushed. He smiled softly before she smiled, closing her eyes.

She exhaled and he straightened to see her breath come out misty before her eyes snapped open, flaring, and the fire before her change from a warm red to a mixed shade of blue and green – the perfect mixture of her eyes. The girl clapped her hand, squealing.

"You can touch it," Ellana told the girl and she slowly reached out, an index finger touching the fire and a look of wonder crossed her face.

"It's warm!" she exclaimed. This caused the other children to try touching the fire, scrambling over each other.

"Children," she started, laugher in her voice, "You can take your time and turn." This allowed the children to settle down and she moved her hand, allowing each child a chance to touch the magic.

He wondered if this is how she showed the children magic in the Clans. If it was a way to reassure children that while magic was dangerous; it was also soothing, protective, and enjoyable.

"Can you summon a dragon?" a young boy asked. Elven, Solas could see, and Ellana laughed.

"You have been listening to Iron Bull," she gently teased him, ticking his stomach with her free hand. He squirmed, giggling as he twisted away from her fingers before bright green eyes landed on her face again.

"Can you?" He asked breathlessly and she shook her head. Disappointment made his eyes dark.

"Sorry, that is not something I can do." She told him before she winked and flicked her fingers. The fire flared upward before it transformed into a dragon. The boy gasped his eyes wide as a smile broke free.

Ellana blew on the dragon and it flew from her hand, soaring through the air before it circled the young boy and disappeared in a flash. The children cheered, bouncing as they clapped.

Her smile was so bright, so happy that it almost hurt to look at it. When was the last time he had seen her like this? So carefree and happy, almost as if the weight of the world did not rest on her shoulders.

"What else can you do?" another child asked, a young Qunari. It had surprised him to see the different races slowly arriving at Skyhold each day but he understood why they would come here. Skyhold called many people, many races, here and he hoped that they would one day understand the meaning.

"Watch this." Ellana winked as she drew herself up to her full height, both palms open and at her hips. She closed her eyes, fire flaring in her hands before she spun around on her bare toes. Solas watched as the fire erupted from her hands, encasing her body before she came to a stop.

His eyebrows rose as the kids cheered, some gasping in delight.

She was standing proudly, a bright smile on her lips; her clothes had now changed to a fiery dress. It changed colours, swaying in the wind. The children touched it, each claiming it was warm.

A crowd had started to gather while Ellana had been showing the children magic but nearly all of them had stopped to watch the dress, amazement flickering over their faces and Solas was proud.

Proud that Ellana was slowly changing everyone's mind on his or her views of Magic. Proud that people were once more opening themselves up to the possibilities of magic and it made his heart ache for the burden he had unwittingly placed on Ellana's shoulders.

As if she could sense him, she turned in his direction and her eyes widened.

"Solas!" The dress flickered as her concentration wavered then the fire dissipated and she was back in her normal clothes. The children whined in disappointment and she smiled softly down them. "Sorry, we'll play another time."

The children slowly nodded, drifting back over to their parents, who shot Ellana thankful looks before leading the children away.

He watched as Ellana watched them go before catching his eye again. She cleared her throat, rubbing the back of her neck as her cheeks flushed. "So-"

"That was impressive," he told her and she flushed harder, her hand dropping from her neck to play with the fingers of her other hand.

"How long have you been watching?"

"A fair bit." He enjoyed the way the blush disappeared under the collar of her outfit. "It is always fascinating to see how you control you magic."

"I-" she scratched her ear. "-I am glad you enjoyed it."

"Hmm, your focus is very impressive once you have set your mind. It is quite indomitable." She stared at him with wide eyes for a moment before she cleared her throat, her eyes darting to the side as she curled a lock of hair around her finger.

"I...er... _Ma serannas_?" she even looked confused at his compliment.

"I would like to see more of your focus." He moved in closer, watching as her eyes snapped up to meet his once more, the blue clearer and she swallowed.

"You...you  _would?_ " she nearly squeaked out and he nodded, a sly smile crossing his lips.

"Oh course; I feel I could learn some things from you. Especially that trick with the dragon." Disappointment flickered in her eyes, turning them a dark green before understanding dawned on her and her blush heightened.

"I...maybe?" she asked, taking a step back as she yanked her finger free from her hair, pushing it back behind her left ear then scratched her eyebrow. "I am...not sure...when I will have...the time?" She stuttered out and he tilted his head.

"Mm, I am sure you can fit me in whenever you have the time," he told her. Her eyes grew wider, if that was even possible, before she gave him a nervous smile.

"I-" She bumped into the wall of the staircase and she gave a nervous giggle. "I should go." She spun on her heels and hurried off leaving him behind with a devilish smile.

_'Interesting.'_

**4: The Sparks of his Amusement**

Why they were in the Hissing Waste was beyond any of them, especially him as he watched from his spot of their camp.

Ellana and Dorian were a little away from them; both of them were looking serious before Dorian turned to the vast emptiness and started waving his hands. Solas had frowned when he saw this before deciding to leave it and return to his book.

Iron Bull had shifted closer to Varric as Sera shifted behind the large Qunari, obviously intending to use him as protection from whatever the two mages were up to.

Cassandra eyed them warily from her spot in front of the fire. Vivienne and Cole were curious, even though Vivienne kept her disinterested appearance up. Cole was trying to move closer to the Duo but Blackwall held him in place by blocking him off.

The Warden continued to eat, not once looking behind him and Solas found that curious before he remembered. Blackwall had been on many quests with them. He had probably learned to shut them out.

Solas flipped a page just as an explosion caught them off guard, Cassandra's sword already unsheathed as she stood up, and ready to defend them.

Varric spluttered into his drink while Sera and Iron Bull reached for their weapons. Cole was on his feet, seemingly torn between bouncing and pulling out his daggers (no doubt reacting to their companions). Vivienne just sighed as Blackwall lifted his head, turning in the direction of the two mages before he shook his head.

Solas lifted his eyes to look at the two mages. He found that Ellana and Dorian were a interesting influence on each other. One could not say it was bad yet he could not say it was good. He watched as Dorian held his hands in the air, just staring at nothing while Ellana covered her mouth, muffling her laugher.

Dorian's shoulders slumped in obvious dejection and Solas allowed himself this moment of smugness. Obviously, whatever Dorian had tried to do did not work.

Ellana then let out a cry - the same cry she would use in battle - and lightning crackled, surrounding the camp causing Sera to yell profanity and Cassandra to yell at them.

Solas sighed as he looked at the lightning still crackling around them. The lightening had a rue hue, almost similar to fire and he frowned. This was new.

Ellana taunting Cassandra brought him out of his musings and he turned to see Cassandra was now high-tailing it after Dorian and Ellana as they both grabbed each other, running as fast as they could over the sand, their laughter and fears mixed in with their chaser's shouts.

He sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose, shaking his head.

"Who wants to bet Cassandra is going to gut them when she catches them?" Varric asked causing nearly everyone to raise his or her hand and he allowed himself this small smile of amusement. No matter what, he could not say that Ellana did not find interesting people to join them on their quests.

Not long after he settled in their tent, already getting comfortable and returning to his book, Ellana slowly made her way into the tent, exhausted. She smiled when she spotted him before kneeling onto the bedroll next to his, sighing as she lay down.

"You should remove your boots if you wish to sleep comfortably," he reminded her. He sensed her sticking her tongue out before she sat up, slowly unlacing and pulling off her boots.

She slumped back down into her bedroll, pulling her covers up and he could sense her eyes on him. He turned the page.

"Tell me, Ellana, exactly what were you and Dorian trying to do?" He asked. "Other than scar the wits out of our companions, of course." She laughed delightedly that he felt the corner of lips his twitch up.

"An experiment," she confessed. He turned to look at her, curious. "Dorian did not believe that Lightning and Fire could work. I showed him wrong."

"Ah – that is why the Lightning had a red hue to it." He turned back to his book. "Please do try and refrain from scaring our companions the next time. I rather would not have Sera's voice ringing in my ears as she curses."

"...did you see Cassandra?" she asked, a giggle slipping out, and he rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I saw Cassandra. Moreover, I saw how she nearly skewered you with her sword as you and Dorian dared her to chase you down to stop you. A remarkable chase she gave, though. I did enjoy yours and Dorian's protests when she finally caught you."

Ellana pouted, amusing him even further as he continued to keep his eyes trained on his book.

"She did not need to drag us back," she muttered and Solas had to laugh as he closed his book, turning to Ellana, giving her his full attention.

"You did scare her by using magic, and then you taunted her into chasing you. What did you think she would do when she caught up with you both? Scold you?"

"Maybe," she admitted and Solas arched an eyebrow.

"Vivienne is the most likely person to scold you. Cassandra is the most likely person to bash you with her shield." Ellana laughed and he smiled, shaking his head. "Do me a favour and the next time you and Dorian wish to experiment, please take it away from the camp."

"Okay," she told him, a heavy sigh accompanying it and he placed his hand over his heart.

" _Ma serannas, Ma vhenan_." She rolled her eyes as a smile curled up the corners of her lips before she raised herself up onto her elbow and leaned in.

She kissed him softly, taking him aback before he softened, cupping the back of her head, enjoying the feel of her hair – now loose from her bun – as he kissed her back.

She was taking him over, inch by inch. She was happiness and he breathing her in.

**5: The Strength of his Devotion**

"Do you really think this is a good idea?" Cassandra asked from where she was watching, shifting uneasily. Ellana was surveying the ground before her with a thoughtful look.

"We do wish to be protected from the Giants, no?" Varric asked from where he was sitting on a large log with Cole sitting next to him, watching Ellana curiously.

"Why can't we just fight them?" Iron Bull grunted, hefting his large axe over his shoulders.

"Because you keep taunting them and it brings more Giants into the fight. Not to mention the bears, the Templars, the Brontos, and I are pretty sure the  _Dragon_  heard the last taunt," Ellana listed off as she stood back, her hands on her hips.

"It was the beginning of a good battle!" Iron Bull pointed out and Ellana looked at him over her shoulder while Dorian shook his head, palming his face as he did.

" _You_  blacked out," she reminded him. " _Cassandra_  was nearly killed by the giant then nearly skewered by the Templar.  _Blackwall_  was sent flying backward thank to a Bear. A Bronto was chasing  _Varric_ , with  _Cole_  chasing after said Bronto. Vivienne, Dorian, and Solas could barely keep up with the barriers.  _Sera_  were  _hiding_  amongst the trees trying not to gain attention as she attacked them."

"Good practice," Iron Bull told her with a wide grin. She shook her head with amusement playing in those eyes as she turned back to the space in front of her.

Solas watched as Dorian turned on Iron Bull, lecturing him on the meaning of not aggravating everything in their direction. It was a mean of survival. Not a damn competition.

"This is perfect." She stepped into the middle of the space and held out her hands. A green glow started up in her hands before they slowly covered her arms.

Wonderment filled him. It was not Fade magic. The light was far too dark for that. It was Keeper Magic. Earth Magic.

Ellana clenched her hands into fists, bringing them up to her chest and roots shot up from the ground, surrounding her, blocking her from their view where they twisted and intertwined.

"Whoa!" Iron Bull took a step back, still skittish when it came to magic. Sera swore; darting behind Iron Bull but Solas could see her peeking around his arm to watch the scene. Varric just arched an eyebrow, interested while Vivienne and Cassandra looked at each other.

He could see that they did not know of the magic Ellana was using and it made him wonder if using Earth as magic was something long forgotten. Cole was eager to step closer while Blackwall just nodded approvingly.

"Well, that is impressive!" Dorian said, as he stood closer to the roots, admiring it as intertwined with each other before he looked at Solas. "Earth Magic?" Solas nodded. "Hmm, fascinating. We have the ability to learn earth magic but it is mostly stone fist and earthquakes. Nothing as wondrous as this!"

The vines in front of Dorian parted to reveal Ellana walking toward them with a smile.

"Glad you approve," she teased him. Dorian winked before he darted in, eager to take in the new surroundings.

"This is fantastic! It blends in perfectly with the surrounding which means we can use this as a mean to recover."

The other slowly entered, Sera asking loudly if she should expect the roots to grab her by her ankles. Iron Bull just lifted her up by her waist, ignoring her yells as he braved it for the both of them.

Solas came to a stop next to Ellana, relishing the feel of the magic washing over him before he glanced at her from the corner of his eye.

"You never fail to surprise me,  _Ma vhenan_ ," Solas told her, appraising the sight.

"You did not think I knew of earth magic?" Ellana asked as she turned to look at him.

"Many magic were lost over the years," he reminded her. "I am glad to see that the Dalish managed to keep a hold of most of them." She smiled, almost glowing and he had to wonder. Maybe he was wrong about the Dalish if they were able to create her.

"It was one of the magic that the Clan Keepers agreed was useful. It allowed us shelters whenever the weather was bad, especially for the young ones." She smiled fondly and he knew she was thinking of her clan and he wondered if she would go back to them after this was over. He had no doubt that they would accept her back in to their fold. However, it was her title that gave him caution for it was a human title, not Elvish.

"You miss them." She looked at him, startled, before she smiled.

"Sometimes," she admitted. "Being out here reminds me what I was like when I was younger. Always exploring the woods; searching for ruins." She sighed, a smile playing on her lips. "Do not get me wrong, I did not mind the plains but they were so vast you could see for miles." She sounded so exasperated that he had to smile and he gently took her hand, her left one with the mark, into his. "Being here...it reminds me and I am not sad."

"Oh?" he rubbed the back of her hand and she smiled.

"I have you." He stilled, looking at her. She blushed. "And the others," she quickly added. "You have all become like a clan to me in your own way so I am not completely alone."

"I-" She leaned up, kissing the corner of his mouth softly, shutting him up before she rocked back onto her heels.

"It's okay,  _Ma vhenan_." His heart thudded as he continued to stare at this marvellous woman before him. Never in his lifetime-, "I should go and make sure they are not caught up in the vines." She gave him a shy smile before stepping back, separating their hands and disappeared within the roots.

She continued to surprise him and he was surprised at the determination that surged through him. She was important, and he was going to do his best to protect her.

**#: The Bond of their Love**

Ellana hummed softly from where she was sitting cross-legged on the floor of her room. The breeze from the open doors in front of her was soothing. She closed her eyes, rolling her shoulders and took a deep breath.

She could feel her magic welling up inside of her, her fingers tingling as lightning sparked between them. She let out a breath, her lips tingling from the frost. She pressed her fingers together and heat surrounded her, warming her gently before it died down and she felt the familiar pressure of the barrier now over her.

She felt safe, protected, as if nothing could touch her when she had her barrier in place.

Hands sliding over her shoulders made her smile. She felt him sit down behind her, his legs at her sides.

He pressed a kiss to her shoulder, gathering her hair and arranging it so it fell over her left shoulder before he kissed her neck, just below her ear and she shivered.

His hands slid up her arms before they cupped hers and she felt his magic join hers. His barrier melded with hers and she rested her head on his shoulder.

Solas kissed her jaw, she sighed, as lightning sparked between their fingers and she bit her bottom lip.

"You are distracting," she told him. She felt him smile against her skin.

"I am merely helping." He placed a kiss on her cheek and she smiled.

"By distracting me?" He chuckled, his hands sliding up and down her forearms.

"Breathe," he instructed and she straightened up and he moved in closer, pressing his front up against her back. She worried her bottom lip for a moment before she did what he instructed.

She breathed and her barrier flared up around her once more, mixing in with his. His hands cupped hers once more. His magic joined in and she felt her body tingle.

She never joined her magic with anyone; no one had caught her interest back in the Clans. She focused on mastering her magic, spurning the advances of the hunters and other mages.

Until she met Solas.

He made her want to what it was like to join magic with him. However, she held back out of respect, and fear. It was a big thing to ask – trust between the two was important when joining magic. While she trusted him, she did not know if he felt the same toward her.

"Focus," he gently chided her. She smiled before she focused and sensed their magic changing. His magic manipulated the barrier and she followed it, changing it to meet his before she gasped with realisation.

Opening her eyes, her barrier was no longer the blue hue but was now a crackling purple.

A lightning barrier. It offered protection and attacks.

She could sense him watching her as she reached out, touching the barrier.

It was warm, lightning flaring from beneath her touch and her happiness rose. He helped her to create an elemental barrier. Tears pricked at her eyes as she leaned back into his embrace, turning her face and kissing his jawline.

" _Ma serannas, Ma vhenan. Ma'arlath_ ," she whispered and he kissed her softly.

" _Ma'arlath Ma vhenan._ "

Right now, her future was bright and she was happy.

The End

 _Abelas_  – I am sorry/sorry

 _Atisha_  – Peace

 _Ma serannas_  – My Thanks (Thank you)

 _Ma vhenan_  – My Heart

 _Ma'arlath_  – I Love You

So – interestingly enough – the Emerald Grove situation where all those giants, Templars, Brontos and the damn Dragon attacking?

Happened in my play-through.

Had to switch to Varric and run like hell. Didn't really work cause two giants were determined to kill us all off *sighs*

Thanks to Pervinca for Betaing


	2. Home is Where the Heart is - Alistair/Elissa Cousland

Title: Home Is Where the Heart Is

Pairings: Alistair/Elissa Cousland (King and Queen)

Rating: Teen

Summary: She is home

Timeline: Post Inquisition

'Home is Where the Heart Is'

She looked at the castle from her spot next to her horse. The horse whinnied and she patted its neck, using hushing sounds to calm it.

"It's okay," she soothed, resting her forehead against its neck. It had been so long since she had been home.

She pulled away from her horse and looked back at the castle. It was still standing, that was good to see. Not that she lacked faith in Alistair's leadership; it was more of the people surrounding him that were most likely to send the castle to the grounds.

Her horse nudged her side and she looked at it, giving it a smile as she smoothed her hand down its forehead, rubbing over its muzzle.

"Come on," she whispered. The horse gave a soft snort and she made her way down the hill, to the path that led the way into Denerim.

It was mostly quiet when she stepped through the gates. She could hear singing from the tavern, smiling as she shook her head, walking closer to the gates that took her back to her husband.

The guards watched her past but did not attempt to stop her. She knew they would not recognise her with her hood up. They were tense, that she could see, and she wondered if it was due to what had happened during her time away.

She and Alistair had stayed in contact with each other during her searching for a cure. She had not wanted to keep him out of the loop and she knew that she would not have made it without his encouragement.

Elissa hated being away from him. She had spent six months in Amaranthine helping to rebuild the Grey Wardens, something she had protested. Alistair had told her that she was the only one he trusted for the job so she reluctantly agreed.

Then she and Alistair spend six months apart when Alistair had his own personal quest to complete.

They had thought it was over, that they would spend the rest of their time together but when the rumours started up and Eamon started pressuring them regarding a heir, she had thought long and hard about it and realised that she needed to find a way to cure the taint within their bodies.

They argued about it, they talked about it; they debated about it. She stormed off the library and he stormed off to train with the soldiers. The servants avoided them and the Nobles feared them.

It had taken, both, Anora and Teagan to knock some sense into them, they eventually came round, talking about it late into the night, and he allowed her to go, without him, providing she stayed in touch with him.

She missed one letter – he was coming after her, Ferelden be damned.

Just when she thought she could not fall in love with him anymore, he proved her wrong.

Elissa stopped when the castle steps came into view, her eyes following them up to the doors where Alistair would be inside. She worried her bottom lip and felt a nudge at her back. She laughed, turning around and pressing a kiss to her horse's forehead.

"Come on, let's get you settle first." She urged her horse over to the stables and it followed her eagerly.

Once it settled, eagerly feeding into the hay-sack, Elissa heard snuffling from the stall next to her horse. Frowning, she gave her horse another pat before she exited the stall and made her way down the path to reach the door of the next stall.

She stopped at the stall door and heard high-pitched barking. The last time she heard those sounds...she leaned over the stall door and her heart melted, smiling at the sight before her.

Mabari puppies.

The last time she had seen a Mabari puppy had been Damon when a Hound Master had brought Damon to Fergus to imprint. Fergus had been excited about having the puppy so she went to the library.

There had been a rule that when a Mabari was over to imprint, only the potential master could be in the room. It was to prevent any inference to imprinting

Elissa had been sitting on the floor, reading, when she heard a bark and pulled her book down to see the puppy at her feet. She had been so confused that she just stared at him for a good while before a noise caught their attention.

Both of them looked at the doorway at the same time.

Her father had been standing in the doorway with an amused look while her mother looked exasperated. Fergus had been laughing into his hand while the Hound Master wrung his hat in his hands with worry clear on his face.

That had been when they told her Damon had imprinted on her by following her scent. He had not looked twice at Fergus when he went searching for her. The Hound Master had said to her father that the dog was like a demon sometimes – which is where his name originated.

Elissa came out of her thoughts where there was a noise and she turned to see a young boy making his way into the stables, no doubt making his rounds.

He stopped when he saw her standing there and frowned.

"Oi, you can't be in here!" he exclaimed. She smiled and he froze. "Your Majesty!" The young boy blurted out and she shushed him, waving her hand. He quickly clamped his lips together.

"I do not wish for everyone to know I am here just yet," she told him, keeping her voice low. He nodded frantically and she smiled before she gestured him over to her, her other hand pointing into the stalls. "When were they born?" she asked as he came closer.

He peered into the stall, a small smile on his face before he looked at her.

"Two days ago," he told her. "Your hound is the father." She chuckled as she looked back at the puppies.

"I know. That one there-" she pointed to the one that tackled another puppy before the two of them wrestled "-is a lot like Damon when he was a puppy."

"The Hound Master is pleased with them. The King had spent some time down here since the puppies were born."

"Has he been imprinted?" She asked, looking at the young boy but he shook his head.

"Advisor Eamon suggested it was not proper to do so." Elissa gritted her teeth as she gave the young boy a nod. "I thought having a Mabari was a sign of respect."

"Ferelden is really the only ones who like dogs," she explained to the young boy. "I think Advisor Eamon is more concerned about the perceptive from other countries." She could see the young boy was not convinced, not that she could blame him, before she returned to the puppies. "Do we know what is going to happen to them?"

"I think these ones are going to the Inquisition. Their Spy master requested some Mabari – something about training?" She laughed and it felt good to laugh again.

Oh, how she pitied those who would be training with the Mabari. She knew very well what a Mabari training was like and she could only hope whoever was going to train with them would not faint from fear.

This caught the puppies' attention and they came running toward the stall door, scrabbling and she smile down at them.

"Sorry, I have a feeling your father would be displeased with me if I were to be imprinted by another one." The young boy laughed in agreement, as she looked at him. "Could you take care of my horse? There is some sugar cubes in the bag."

The young boy nodded eagerly. "Not a problem!" he rushed toward the horse, who snorted when they saw him and she smiled as she returned to the puppies then straightened her back.

She had her husband to see.

Elissa stealthily made her way through the castle, easily avoiding the guards patrolling before she frowned to herself. She needed to speak to Alistair about retraining them. She knew Leliana would send them a very stern letter regarding their protection.

She waited until the guard made their round on Alistair's floor before she took a deep breath and walked over to the door, her hand lifted, poised to knock before she faltered outside their – his – bedroom door and wondered if she still had a place in his life.

It had been nearly enough two years. She had written to him, faithfully, not wishing him to worry. However, a person does have their limits to how long they would wait for someone to come back.

She worried her bottom lip, rocking back onto her heels. She knew Eamon would have been pushing Alistair to find another. To divorce her – if they did not declare her as dead – and to marry another who would be able to give him the children needed for the Kingdom.

It never failed to make her angry at the thought. No one should force people to have children, especially for a Kingdom. It was a right that belonged to the parents.

However, that never stopped Eamon from pressuring them to have children, to have heirs for the Kingdom, to continue the bloodline of the Theirin.

The little girl continued to haunt her dreams and she wondered if they now had the chance to hold her in their arms, if they were going to have children. It nagged at her. They had tried to have children but when the rumours surfaced and the unrest regarding the Mages and Templars, they had decided it would have been better to put those plans on hold.

They did not want to bring a child into the world when it was dangerous. Alistair had already feared her life, the thought of her being pregnant and in danger had been a source of nightmares for her husband that she suggested holding off on having children.

Eamon had been beyond furious when he found out, demanding that Alistair was to replace Elissa immediately with a new wife, or take a lover, in order to provide them an heir for the Kingdom.

Alistair's fury had been a remarkable sight, and a widely told tale to those who would listen.

She straightened up, preparing to knock when a snuffling caught her attention. She looked down to see the shadow from the gap and she knew it was her hound. A wobbly smile crossed her lips.

"Damon?" she heard Alistair ask and her knees felt weak at the sound of his voice. She rested her forehead on the door, tears pricking. It had been so long since she heard his voice. "Is there someone out there?"

Her heart started beating faster and she pulled away from the door as Damon started scratching. She was not ready.

She turned away from the door, already planning a quick escape when the door opened, light illuminating the hallway and she sensed Alistair behind her. Damon barked and she heard the confused inhalation from her husband.

"Who-"

Damon rushed to her side, pushing his nose into her hand and she let out a sob/laugh as she stroked her dog's head.

"Hey boy," she whispered. Damon sat at her feet, licking her hand before burying his nose into her stomach. She knelt down, wrapping her arms around him. She had missed him so much.

Damon whined, resting his head on her shoulder, tucking his nose into her neck and she giggled before she pulled away, cupping his face.

"Oh – I missed you." He licked her cheek before he looked around her at Alistair. She slowly rose up, Damon nudging her hand in comfort as she tried willing herself to turn around to face him.

"Elissa," He grasped her arm, turning her around. She bit her lower lip again and heard him huff out a laugh, his hand coming up to cup her cheek. She closed her eyes as a tear slipped free, leaning into his touch. "I thought I told you I was the only one who was allowed to bite your lip."

She laughed as he tugged her lip free of her teeth, rubbing his thumb over it. She kissed his thumb and he pushed back her hood, baring her face to him to see.

She met his eyes. The warm brown eyes she only saw her in dreams and memories.

"Hello Alistair," she greeted and he laughed, leaning in and resting their foreheads together.

"Nearly two years and that's what you say," he teased her.

She pulled away, looking at him. He looked older. More lines – stress lines. There was a new scar on his cheek. She reached up, cupping his cheek, he leaned into her, watching her with those eyes, and she felt tears well up.

He softened, a small smile crossing his lips before he pulled her into a hug. She clung to him, burying her face into his neck as she breathed him in.

"Maker's breath, I've missed you," he whispered into her neck. She nodded, tears slipping free and she began to cry. "Sh, it's okay. You're home." It made her cry harder and he rubbed her back.

He was right; she was home.  _He_  was her home.

Elissa felt Alistair tighten his arms around her waist and picked her up. She tightened her grip as he turned them around and walked into their bedroom. She felt him kick the door shut and carried her further so she could feel the heat from the fireplace.

He set her down on her feet and she pulled away, cupping his cheeks. He kissed her and she felt it all the way down to her toes, warming her.

"Let's get you out of those armour," he told her when he pulled away. She nodded, helping him. She removed her gauntlets while Alistair removed her back, balancing before removing her leggings.

She slowly pulled off her tabard, her muscles aching and protesting. Alistair stood up, helping her and she sighed with relief when he dropped the tabard onto the ground, leaving her in her shift.

He placed his hands on her waist and frowned, looking down before meeting her eyes.

"You haven't been eating," he scolded her and she laughed.

"I did not have you reminding me to eat," she teased him and he shook his head, kissing her shoulder. She sighed, her eyes sliding shut at the contact. It was a simple one but one she had missed all the same.

"You," He kissed her neck, "Are," her jawline, "Going," Her cheek, "To be," he kissed her deeply and she moaned, sliding her hand into his hair, her other hand going to his shoulder, "The death of me," he whispered against her lips when he pulled away.

"Mm, what a way to go," she breathed before she kissed him again. His hands slid around to the small of her back, pulling her in close before she pulled away, sighing as they rested their foreheads together.

His hands returned to her hips, slowly pulling up her shift. She raised her arms, carefully and he removed it, leaving her nearly bare and dropped it to the side, taking her hands, lifting them to the sides.

"Okay, let's see." His eyes scanned her body before he let one hand go, reaching out, touching the new scar that was high on her left hip. He arched an eyebrow as he looked at her and she scoffed, embarrassed.

"A bear – a great bear. You have no idea how much I missed you being my shield." He laughed, his fingers caressing the scars before a look of sadness and worry crossed his face. "Alistair." He looked at her again. "I promise you, I am fine. I stayed safe the best I could." She tugged on his hands, pulling him in. "And I am not going anywhere without you."

"Promise?" he breathed against her lips and she smiled.

"Promise," She kissed him.

"Mm," he pulled away, "As much as I like this, I really need to make sure my wife is okay." She smile before stepping back, allowing him to pull her knickers down, kissing her stomach as he did.

Her hands went to his hair as tears pricked at her eyes. He stood up, pulling off her breast band and she winced. He pulled away, turning her around to see the bruises on her back.

"Maker's breath, Elissa! See if I let you get out of my sight again. Here I was thinking I would be worse off if you had not been there to lead me. It turns out that you are worse off when I am not there to be your shield!" She laughed as he turned her around, amused exasperation clear on his face as he shook his head.

"Here, sit down." He helped her to sit down next to the fire, tucking the blanket around her. He pushed back stray hairs from her face before he frowned, his hand covering the back of her neck. "You are still cold. We need something else to heat you up, and hopefully sooth those bruises on your back."

He stood up, looking around the bedroom before his eyes locked on something. She followed his gaze to see he was looking at the door that led to the bathing room.

"Alistair-"

"Bath!" Damon barked, growling and Alistair rolled his eyes at the hound. "Not for you." He looked back at Elissa. "The servants tried giving him a bath. You can imagine how  _that_  went." She laughed as her dog hunched before he stalked closer to her, curling into her side.

"Oh, dear. I guess it was not as fun when I give them, huh?" He whimpered, resting his head on her shoulder and she grinned, kissing his muzzle. She turned to look at her husband who was already gathering up the runes from their chest and she knew what he was planning.

"Alistair, you really do not need-"

"Let me, please?" he asked and she softened as she sighed then rolled her eyes.

"Very well, if you must." The smile he gave her was worth it as he hurried into the bathing room.

Elissa snuggled into her dog, listening to her husband curse under his breath a few time before he uttered a triumphant cheer and smiled. Damon lifted his head from her shoulder as Alistair came into the bedroom.

"My lady, your bath awaits you." He bowed. She laughed as she slowly pushed herself up, taking his hand when he offered it. He moved in closer and lifted her up into his arms that she had to arch an amused eyebrow.

"Yeah, you're not getting away from me again for next – oh - ten years," he stated. She laughed again as she slid her arm around his neck, hugging him close as he carried her into the bathroom.

"I have no problem with that," she told him, kissing his cheek before resting her forehead against the side of his jaw.

"That's good."

"It means we can hide out in the library more often." He laughed, almost dropping her. She squealed, tightening her arms around his neck and he reaffirmed his hold on her.

"Sorry," he managed to apologise and she sighed, shaking her head in amusement. "Eamon does not like it when we hide out in the library," he reminded and she scoffed.

"That is only because you told Damon to bite anyone who tried to enter," she reminded him.

"How was I supposed to know Damon would obey me? I thought Mabari only obeyed their masters!" He reached the bath and slowly lowered her in.

She groaned as the warm water lapped at her skin. He had put salt and oils in, helping with her sore muscles. "How is the water?"

"Perfect." She sank lower, allowing him to run the cloth over her skin and she closed her eyes. For the first time, since she started her quest, she felt safe. "And for your information," she opened her eyes to meet her husband, "Mabari do not really have masters. Mabari obey those they deem worthy."

He stopped his ministrations, his head snapping to look at Damon, curled up in front of the fire – he had followed them into bathing room – and he whined quizzically, cocking his head at Alistair.

Alistair looked back at Elissa, who was smiling fondly as she nodded.

"Damon followed your orders because he has deemed you worthy." He swallowed and she felt her heart swell. He had always wanted a Mabari – he had grown up with them when he was living in the stables – but he had never had the chance to have a Mabari imprint.

"Really?" she nodded.

"He had never listened to anyone else's orders. That is why I left him behind when I went away. Because I knew he would obey your orders and you would be happier if you still had him."

"You are sneaky sometimes," he muttered, resuming his ministrations and she grinned.

"Only sometimes?" she asked. "I guess I need to up my game."

"Oh no, you don't," he argued. "You already run circles around me as it is." She rolled her eyes, shaking her head in amusement.

Alistair kissed her shoulder.

Elissa reached out, her index finger stroking his chin as she memorised his appearance. "I missed you." He smiled. Her finger traced his lips.

"My witty jokes and irresistible charm?" she laughed. He kissed her finger.

"Believe it or not, I actually did miss those." He chuckled, shaking his head. "But I missed you having my back." Her hand cupped the side of his face, thumb stroking his cheek.

"And I missed you having mine." He kissed her gently then rubbed his nose against hers. "Welcome home, sweetheart." She smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too."

_Home is where my heart is. My Heart is You. You are my Home._

The End

Thanks to Pervinca for Betaing


	3. Forget Me Not - Varric/Malika Cadash

Title: Forget Me Not

Pairings: Varric/Malika Cadash, Varric/Bianca with a dash of Cole

Rating: Mature/Adult

Summary: She gave in; he called the wrong name and she has to live with that

Timeline: Inquisition

Kink: rough sex

Warnings: Angst, Flashback Sex

I am so sorry!

Kink Meme Prompt: http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/12149.html?thread=47616885#t47616885

' **Forget Me Not'**

She sat on the edge of her bed, the sheets wrapped around her nude body as she stared at nothing, humiliation burning in her. She was so stupid; she should have known that Varric would have never come to her of his own free will.

The fact that he had been drunk should have been her first clue, her first warning, but he had just kissed her out of nowhere, and she had wanted him for so long, that she gave into her desire, pressing her body up against his as he deepened the kiss.

He had felt so good, solid, as he pushed her back into her bedroom. She tripped and he caught her, proving it was not a dream. Varric had chuckled into her neck, sending shivers of desire through her before she kissed him again, briefly tasting the whisky he liked to drink.

Malika shook her head, ridding the memory as she tightened the sheets around her nude body. She felt sore; she wished it was a good pain but the last memory left a bad taste in her mouth and she wiped the back of her hand over her lips.

He groaned from behind her and she heard him twist in her bed, a feeling of cold dread slicing through her stomach. Would he remember? Would he be ashamed? Would he be sorry? She did not think she could cope if he pitied her.

"Malika," he groaned, "Why do I feel like I've been slammed by a Bronto?"

She could not even smile at his half-hearted attempt of jest, too caught up in if he remembered the night before – and his reaction to it. Moreover, it stung to know that was the first time, since he came to her room, that he had said her name.

How many times had she fantasised about this? Alone in her bed, with her hand between her legs and her thoughts to keep her warm. How often had she dreamt of turning over in her bed and admiring the man beside her, sleeping peacefully and thinking of all the different ways she could wake him.

The bed shifted, breaking her out of her thoughts and she heard a hiss.

"-Shit," he cursed softly behind her and she knew. He remembered. She did not know if she should feel awful or glad that he remembered. Either way, it just made the situation even more awkward as fuck.

Unable to sit any longer, Malika stood up. The bed held too many memories and she wondered, briefly, what the soldiers would say if she was to ask them to take her bed away.

It brought a brief smile to her lips before it quickly faded away as she heard Varric standing. She still could not look at him. Was this how it was going to be from now on? Was she ever going to look at him again? Could she look at him and not remember their night together?

"I guess we should talk about this," he told her and she stiffened. She did not want to talk about it; she did not want to be even more humiliated than she already was.

"I think you should leave," she told him, her voice low, yet firm.

"Malika-"

"Go!" She spun around to look at him. He was standing on the other side of the bed, the bed covering his nudity.

His hair was a mess, his body covered in marks – her marks – from the night before, and it was nearly enough to break her control. "Just – go."

He swallowed before regret crossed his features and her broken heart splintered even further as she turned her head, unable to look at him.

"Alright," he whispered and there was rustling. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw him pulling on his clothes before he walked over to the bannister. She turned away again. "I – I am sorry."

Her hand tightened on her sheets as she squeezed her eyes shut. She did not want to hear that. She did not want to hear that he regretted their night – a night that had been one of the best in her life – it just reinforced her humiliation.

Malika heard his footsteps down the stairs, heard him hesitate at the bottom of the stairs – she did not even dare to hope - before he opened the door and closed it.

She opened her eyes, tears stinging the back of them as she gasped harshly. It served her right for thinking that a man like him could ever be interested in a woman like her.

Rubbing at her face, she headed into the bathing room, needing to feel clean and normal. She was the damn Inquisitor; she was not going to let this get her down.

Malika looked into the looking glass and blanched when she saw her features, her eyes darting away from the glass as she reached the basin, filled with water.

She activated the runes, setting it to heat up before she took a deep breath. She needed to face her reflection – while she wanted to or not.

She slowly lifted her head and saw her reflection. Her dark blue eyes – with the inner light blue, a sign of lyrium exposure – rimmed with redness due to her lack of sleep. Her dark skin bore marks of the night before.

She ran a hand through her dark brown hair, trying to smooth it down the best she could but each time she ran a hand through her hair, she remembered his hand in her hair, gripping it tightly and quickly dropped her hand down.

Her eyes wandered downward in her reflection, a memory forcing its way to the surface at each mark.

 **Love bite**  –  _he kissed and sucked deeply at that spot where her jaw and neck met, licking it every now and then as he palmed her breasts, rubbing against her between her legs before he quickly divested her belt, unlacing her breeches and shoving his hand down._

_He caressed her over her underwear, his thumb finding that spot as he gently bit down, causing her to explode, clutching him as her legs trapped his hand._

_Never had that happened before._

**Bite mark on her left shoulder**  –  _he groaned against her neck, settled between her legs, as she chuckled darkly, her hands sliding over his back before she dragged her nails down him and he bit her, causing her to gasp and her nails to dig in further. He rubbed against her then sat back, causing her nails to run around his hips, leaving behind marks._

 **Tousled hair**   _– he wound her hair around his hand, gently tugging her head back so he could kiss her, stealing her breath, laughing darkly against her cheek. He then pulled back, turning her head as his other hand wrapped around his girth, slowly stroking as she watched him._

_She leaned in, kissing the tip. He tightened his grip and she licked him, her hand sliding over him before she sucked him. She locked eyes with him, enjoying the way his jaw tensed, the muscles tightening in his neck, the way his eyes darkened as he watched her._

_She moaned around him, bobbing faster as he spread his legs, hissing as she touched him, gently massaging him before she came off him with a pop that caused his hips to arch, his hardness bobbing._

_She had watched, delighted, before she took back into her mouth, listening to him cry out, his grip tightening to the point of pain and it aroused her._

**Her nipples bruised and red**  –  _he kissed and sucked, pinching and twisting as she straddled him, needing him inside of her. He was so hard and hot, her nipples sensitive yet eager for more abuse._

_She watched him, watching as his thumbs ran around her nipples, watching as he thrust deep inside of her, almost lazily as she rocked. She had wanted him for so long._

**Bruises on her hips**  –  _he held her down, giving her that sinful smirk from between her thighs and kissed her. She gasped, her hands tangling in his loose hair, pushing him in further. He chuckled and she shivered, the vibration stimulating her before his tongue teased her._

_He knew how to use his tongue, that clever tongue of his that talked him out of so many situations. Hawke had warned her of his silver tongue – the moment he used it, he had won._

_Moreover, it felt like he had won, lapping and flicking, smooth then rough. She bit the palm of her hand, whimpering when he suddenly grabbed her wrist, yanking her hand away from her mouth just as he slid his tongue in deep and she screamed._

**Nail marks on her thighs**  –  _he held her open, her hands clutched onto the pillows behind her as he dropped open mouth kisses over her breasts, teasing, as he would look into her eyes. He thrust slowly and deeply, making sure he was fully inside of her before he pulled out again._

_It took her breath away, feeling him flushed up against her. She would squeeze as he tried to leave, desperate for him to move faster yet enjoying the torture, wanting him to keep it up._

**Palm prints on her ass**  –  _he would smack her whenever she dropped her head back. His voice was low, hard, and dark when he ordered her to open her eyes, to watch him. He had rolled onto his back, her still straddling him, her fingers burying into that glorious chest hair of his as she took over, needing him._

_She needed to feel him, needed to hear him. She rocked harder, faster, grunting and moaning as sweat dripped down her body._

_He rose up, his hand smacking her ass each time she dropped down, his mouth eager on her breasts and his free hand tangling up in her hair again, pulling on her dark locks, repeatedly._

_She came with a cry of his name, stiffening and shuddering when he spun them around, pounding into her until he met his relief._

_"Bianca -"_

She shuddered, wrapping her arms around her waist. He had called her Bianca; and she had felt her heart stutter to a stop before it broke in the most painful way she never thought it could.

It hurt to know that he had come to her, caressed and kissed her, made her feel for the first time in a long time all while imagining someone else.

She slumped against the door, sliding down as her hands came up to her face and she cried, finally giving in. She was a fool, an idiot to believe that Varric could return her feelings.

She had seen how he was around Bianca. Had seen the way she treated him and how he just went back for more. He was in love with the other dwarf and she had been a replacement – a shitty one since they looked nothing alike – but a replacement nonetheless.

It hurt more than it should have as she curled her knees to her chest, dropping her hands to wrap her arms around her legs, burying her face into her knees. She wished with everything inside of her that she could go back and change the night before, to turn him away and just keep her fantasies. Her fantasies never called her by another name, her fantasises never made her heart feel like it was made of glass.

A cool hand on her shoulder made her bring her head up and she met the soft sad gaze of Cole.

" _I can make you forget_ ," Cole whispered.

She was in love with a man who could never love her back.

" _I can make you forget_."

Maybe she should forget.

The End

Whew - *runs to hide*

Thanks to Pervinca for betaing!


	4. A Friendly Ear - Cullen/Evelyn Trevelyan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She needed assurance – she never thought she would find it from a certain Commander

Title: A Friendly Ear

Pairings: Cullen/Evelyn

Rating: Teen

Summary: She needed assurance – she never thought she would find it from a certain Commander

Timeline: Inquisition – not long after getting Skyhold

Warnings: UST, Angst, Chantry-Bashing (kind of)

This refers to 'A Warrior and His Rogue' (Just a little bit)

'A Friendly Ear'

Evelyn Trevelyan sighed as she reached the battlements. She stepped closer to the edge, looking at the scenery before her and shivered. She tightened the cloak with one hand, her breath coming out misty.

The sight before her never failed to astound her and she closed her eyes as the cold air pushed back her hair. She tucked some behind her left ear, enjoying having it down from its usual ponytail. It had been so long since she had felt…normal.

She laughed and it rang hollow. She bent her head to look at the letter in her free hand as her other hand returned to the cloak, holding it close before looking at the sights before her once more.

Then again, she sincerely doubted that she would ever get to be normal again. Not with her parents' words floating around in her head. She shook it, wishing that she had just burned the damn letter when she spotted her mother's handwriting.

Evelyn had to admit that she hoped her parents were going to give her some encouragement. She had been so stupid, so naïve. When was she going to stop getting her hopes up when it came to her parents?

Bitterness and sadness stung at her as she crumpled the letter. She needed to stop writing to her little sister – at least until things had died down and it hurt to think that. She did not want to stop writing to her sister; she was the main reason why Evelyn was able to keep going even with the pressure on her shoulders.

Her baby sister – she should have known that their parents would have read her letters. However, it was for the best. She could not let her sister caught in the crossfire between her and their parents – it was not fair on her.

"Inquisitor-"

Evelyn squeaked in shock, nearly pitching herself over the battlements when hands grabbed her waist from behind. Breathing heavily, clutching the cloak tighter to her chest, she looked, wide-eyed, over her shoulder to meet the wide brown eyes of her Commander.

"Cullen!" She took a step back from the battlements, his hands guiding her while she steadied herself. "Do not sneak up on me!"

"I am sorry, I had not realised you were in deep thoughts."

She let out a breathless chuckle, born out of fear rather than amusement.

"I guess I should have been more aware of my surroundings," she agreed before realising that he still had his hands on her hips. She looked down then looked at him, arching an eyebrow.

Cullen frowned, following her gaze and his cheeks flushed, letting her go, one hand going to the back of his neck. She carefully hid her smile, darting her eyes back over the battlements. Her heart fluttered before she squashed it down.

She was not going to deny it, she was developing feelings for the Commander, but she had refused look closely at her feelings. She could not be falling for her Commander.

She had enough on her plate without her infatuation making her feel like she was a teen again.

"Is everything okay?"

She turned to see he was looking at her. She thought about lying but realised there was no point and sighed, looking at the letter in her hand.

"My...parents," she admitted, she shot him a wry glance. "They wrote me a letter."

"Is that not good?" he asked and she laughed bitterly, looking back out at the scenery.

"Depends on your definition of good," she muttered.

"Do you wish to talk?" he offered, as she looked at him. He shrugged. "I make a good listener."

"I do not wish to take up your time," she told him. "I am sure you have far more important things to do."

"I would not have suggested if I did not have the time," he reminded her, shifting so he was leaning against the battlements facing her, showing that she had his full attention.

She huffed out a laugh, feeling her cheeks heat up as she shifted, giving him a questioning glance. He just tilted his head, arching an eyebrow as the corners of his lips curled up and she sighed, nodding.

"I...have been writing to my youngest sister. She is a mage; she had been at Ostwick Circle when the rebellion started. She chose to go back to our parents rather than be with the rebellion."

"She doesn't support it?"

Evelyn had to laugh. "Tessa was happy at the circle. She was one of the few who did not have a problem with the Templars. She got along with everyone. We kept in contact so when the mages broke free, she came back home."

"And you were sent to the conclave?" he asked. She sighed, running her hand through her hair.

"My oldest sister was meant to be sent in my place," she admitted. "She is a Templar." She saw Cullen wince out the corner of her eyes. "She was supposed to go with the Divine but my older brother, Maxwell, had been travelling-"

"He picked a hell of a time to go travelling, didn't he?" Cullen cut in and she laughed as she turned to face him, seeing the embarrassment crossing his face.

"Maxwell is the next in line to take over our father's place. Therefore, he believed that he needed to earn his place so he decided to travel, to get experience and to see the world first hand. He always sent us letters from places he had been." She shook her head at the memories. "When the rebellion started, Remi was tasked to find him. Shortly before the Conclave, there had been a sighting so she went to find him and I was sent in her place."

She looked at her hand, feeling the anchor tingling beneath the skin. "She would have been far better suited to this task than I."

"Do you believe so?" Cullen asked. She ran her hand through her hair once more then turned fully to him.

"Do you really believe that I am the Herald of Andraste?" she asked. He straightened, arching an eyebrow.

"Are you questioning yourself?" A burst of irrational despair ran through her at his question.

"I do not believe in the Chantry," she admitted – for the first time in a long time. He tilted his head. "I have no faith in them. My…" she looked at the letter. "My parents are religious – deeply so for them to have a child who has no faith in the Chantry was a shock."

"What of the others?"

"Maxwell questions rather than accepts. Remi is a Templar – however, she only accepted the position because of Tessa. She wanted to make sure that Tessa was receiving a fair treatment at the Circle. We were not so out of touch that we did not know that some Templars abused their power." She rubbed her cheek. "Tessa is a question mark to be honest. She seems to vary depending on her mood. Some days she believes, other days she doesn't."

"Was your sister okay in the Circle?" he asked. She could see the concern on his face and nodded.

"Tessa got along with pretty much everyone at the Circle. She was not the type to back down if she believed something was wrong." She laughed. "Maxwell refused to even argue with her because she knew too much to use against him."

"You miss them," he said and she nodded.

"I know they are safe. Remi has found Maxwell and both of them are on their way back to Ostwick. Tessa is safe with our parents – at least until the Circles are restored."

"Do you believe the Circles will be restored?" Cullen asked and she could hear the shock in his tone as she turned to face him, giving him an amused smile.

"Why? Is that a shock?"

"You sided with the Mages, granting them freedom," he reminded and she shook her head.

"I merely granted them an alliance," she reminded him. "We needed their full power to close the breach. However, Grand Enchanter Fiona had not inspired me much with her leadership. I would not be surprised if the Circles were restored once they have picked a new Divine."

"Is your sister okay with that?" he asked and she smiled, nodding.

"She liked the Circle. Do not get me wrong, she does love her family but she feels safer at the Circle. She can learn to control her magic and not fear that she would hurt someone she cares about."

"Does she know your alliance with the Mages?" he asked.

"Yes. In addition, she called me out on it. She even went so far to declare that I was insane for giving them an alliance after their last allies."

"Yes, that was...unexpected," he agreed and she turned to face him, arching an eyebrow.

"If I remember correctly, you told me off just the same as she did. Did you not call me out on not taking precautions regarding abominations?"

"Yes, well, it was a great concern," he muttered and she smiled.

"I understood your concerns," she told him, shaking her head. "I just wanted to give them a chance."

"I am not holding it against you," he said, holding up a hand. "You made a choice when no other could. I admire you for that." She felt her own cheeks heat up.

"I never thought you were still holding it against me," she admitted, smiling shyly and he averted his eyes. "I only meant that you would understand the dangers and I respect you for calling me out on it."

"I...yes...I…" He looked adorable, flushing and stuttering when he looked at her almost desperately. "You were saying about your parents?" She allowed him this, giving him a short nod before she turned to look out over the battlements.

"I was never accepting of the Chantry, even when I was younger. I think it mostly stems from my experience." She swallowed back her anger at her memory. "My parents tried. They sent me to the Chantry to learn, to understand but I hated it. I hated the Mothers, the Sisters and the chant." She laughed bitterly.

"Everywhere I looked; I was seeing lies. They claim to love all those the Maker loved. Yet they could not accept the Elves or the Dwarves, refusing them entrance to a Chantry purely because they were not human."

She turned to face him, seeing his face impassive. She could not tell what he was thinking and she was not sure if that was a good thing. "What did the Chantry do?" she demanded. "When the Divine died – they were more concerned about their position – how they would look to the public. Yes, they were in mourning but that is no excuse to toss those who needed them to the side!"

She turned back to look at the scene, anger running through her. "The Inquisition was the one who found medicine, food, and blankets for those who needed them. We offered the refugees shelter and the Chantry would rather spit in our face than extend their help."

Her hands went to the stone, her nails curling. "They even called the Templars in to deal with us – to prove their power to the people once more only for the Templars to walk away, abandoning their duty."

Evelyn sighed, bowing her head. "I told them that I do not believe myself to be the Herald of Andraste – especially after Haven. Yet they persist in it, and they look at me like I sullied everything they once believed to be true while ignoring their own hypocritical actions."

He chuckled, startling her. She turned to look at him, her eyes widening. That was not what she had expected.

"You remind me of someone I once knew," he told her. "' _The Chant is pretty, but they are merely words and words are not actions_ ', she would say." He shook his head. "She found out she had magic when she was twelve. An incident happened involving her and her cousin and she used her magic to protect them."

"Once knew?" Evelyn asked and his eyes darkened.

"Yes. She died in Kinloch Circle during the uprising. She gave her life to protect me." He looked out to the scene. "I think that was part of the reason why I hated mages so much. She was good, kind. She tried her best – she wanted to be a healer." He laughed and it sounded bitter. "So when she died, something inside of me snapped. It just seemed like Mages wanted to destroy everything that was good."

"Yet you came round." She rested against the wall and he nodded.

"I met her cousin. You know her as the Champion of Kirkwall. She was so much like Solona that I found myself remembering her, remembering what she was like. It was not until Marian stood against Meredith that I was reminded of Solona's sacrifice."

"And you joined the Inquisition?" she asked. He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Not exactly," he confessed. "I stayed behind in Kirkwall to help the people, to restore some semblance of an order after the destruction we had left." He sighed. "Cassandra had approached me but I had been hesitating. I had been a Templar for nearly enough my whole life. How could I give it up and abandon our people?"

Evelyn frowned, she had only heard – briefly – about his recruitment into the Inquisition, but she had not known that he had been reluctant at first.

"I thought about it, went back and forth on my choices. And then-" He chuckled, shaking his head. "And then I met back up with the Hero of Ferelden," he admitted and her eyes widened. "Do not tell Cassandra," He gave her a wry smile, "for I fear she may take my head for not telling her."

"My lips are sealed," she assured him, her own lips curling. "What was she like?"

"Furious," he admitted. "She slapped me." He chuckled mirthlessly and Evelyn frowned. "She was also Solona's cousin," he explained and her eyes widened. "When she discovered my attitude, she slapped me and told me that Solona would be ashamed of me."

"That is harsh." She frowned and Cullen shook his head.

"I kind of asked for it," he slowly admitted. "I was not kind to her and she snapped. I was lucky that her husband was with her for he was the one to calm her down."

"I have heard of them," Evelyn admitted. "That their anger is a sight to behold. I saw a little bit of the King's anger in Redcliffe."

"It is. Leliana can attest to that," he agreed before he sighed. "I…I think that was the moment I truly started looking at myself and seeing my actions. How many mages had lost their lives because of my inaction? How many had been turned to tranquil slaves because I refused to look past my own anger?"

He shook his head. "I was just lying there, nursing my wound as she ranted at me; she was so angry, so dangerous that I was barely looking at her, so caught up in my own anger. I was thinking what did she know what I had been through. What did she know of the danger the Mages possessed then…" A glazed look crossed his eyes. "Then I looked at her and I saw Solona standing before me."

"The Queen of Ferelden slapped you, must have been an honour," Evelyn said and he laughed, turning to look at her as the glaze melted.

"You should have seen her husband's face. I thought he was going to have a heart attack on the spot." He shook his head. "But it did bring me to some sense. I look back on how I used to be and I wonder what would have happened if I had not met her that day."

"Do you think you would have still hated mages?"

"I honestly do not know. I was young when I first became a Templar. I understood the Chantry's warnings but when I had the chance to know Solona, I saw the good side. It was not until the uprising that I saw what the Chantry feared. Then Kirkwall only festered that fear and mistrust."

"I think you would have found a way to push past it all," she softly told him, surprising both of them as she looked up at him. "I mean, I do not think you are the type of person to keep their head buried in the sand for so long."

"Thank you," he whispered and she gave him a short nod. "I decided I wanted to be a better man, a better person so I left the Order and joined the Inquisition. They were willing to do what it took to protect people, to restore order."

"Mother Giselle told me what happened to the original Inquisition," she told him and he nodded. "Will that happen to us?"

"Somehow, I have a feeling that you would not let that happen," he told her. "Cassandra has faith in you. She and Leliana were once part of the Chantry. Leliana may say that she still is but her actions say otherwise. But I think they see how ineffective the Chantry has become in the years."

"I do not think I could allow us to become like them," she admitted. "I want to help protect those who need us. I want to show people that even if the Chantry loses their way, they can still count on us to be there for them. I want to be a force for good, not for a god who may or may not hear us."

"Then go down that path," he told her with a warm smile. "Show us how to protect them, to prove our cause to those who are still unsure. Believe in yourself and you will do what you do best."

Evelyn huffed out a laugh as warmth bloomed in her chest. Who knew the Commander could inspire confidence like that.

"I still think you are all mad for making me the Inquisitor," she told him. He smiled and it was an unfamiliar smile – she had never seen him smile like this, it made his face soft, his eyes twinkling, and she wished she could see it more.

"Evelyn," this was the first time he had ever said her name, "Do not doubt yourself. You are doing a good job. Do what you believe is right."

"And what if I think is right is not right?" she whispered. He swallowed, his eyes dropping to her lips and she felt her heart beat faster. She licked her bottom lip and his eyes darkened before they met hers again.

"Then you deal with the consequences," he told her, shifting in closer. "You are a remarkable person. Do not let your parents take that away."

"I-" She wanted to kiss him, wanted to feel him pressed up against her, to know what it was like for someone to want her for her – not because she was some Noblewoman.

"Commander-" a new voice came. Cullen stepped back and she turned to look at the scenery, getting her breath back. "Seeker Cassandra wishes to meet with you to go over some training schedules."

"Thank you," his voice sounded deeper and she heard the recruit turn around and walk away. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes as disappointment and desire waged inside of her. She then tilted her head in his direction, opening her eyes to see him watching her.

"Duty calls," he told her and she nodded.

"I will see you at meal, if you can tear yourself away from your office," she gently teased him. He flashed a quick smile before he brushed past her.

She held her breath before she heard the door close and sagged against the wall, exhaling and wishing she knew what to do, how to deal with her emotions.

He was driving her to a distraction. She just wanted to be with him but she could not allow herself to do so. It did not matter that he may feel the same way; they could not afford this distraction – not with the danger so close to their borders.

Evelyn slowly tore up the letter as tears stung the back of her eyes, piling the pieces up in her palm and lifted her hand, allowing the wind to blow the letter into the air.

She was falling for her Commander, and it stung deeper than any words her parents could express.

The End

Thanks to Pervinca for Betaing


	5. Being the Inquisitor - Carver/Kallian Tabris

Title: Being the Inquisitor

Pairings: Carver/Kallian Tabris

Rating: Teen

Summary: Being the Inquisitor is completely bull, thankfully she makes it better

Timeline: AU of Inquisition (After dealing with the Grey Wardens)

Warnings: non-descriptive Hawke, Caver & Varric's friendship (Because they are awesome together)

Based on Kink Meme: http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/13429.html?thread=51849845#t51849845

'Being the Inquisitor'

Carver Hawke frowned as he stared at the letter before he sighed, shaking his head, irritation growing in him. Of course she would find it funny, she was not even anywhere near them.

"You alright, junior?" Varric asked from where he was sitting on the other side of the table.

"Fine," Carver muttered.

"Letter from Hawke?" he asked and Carver shook his head.

"No, letter from Kallian," he corrected. "She finally got my letter." He sighed, placing the letter on the table and sitting back in his chair. "She finds it funny that I am the Inquisitor. She said it fitted in perfectly with Hawke being the Champion."

Varric chuckled. "Somehow, I have a feeling Hawke would take that as an insult." Carver smiled as he thought about the eldest Hawke. He had always been so envious of his older sibling, always stuck in their shadow.

During his time away from Hawke, he began to realise how childish he had been, though Hawke had only shook it away. He had been 18 when they lost their hometown and saw their younger sister killed. He had the right to be angry.

Sadness washed over him at the thought of his twin sister. Bethany had been the better one out of the two of them. She always had a sunny outlook, trying to see the best she could. He rubbed his hand over his chest, willing the pang to leave.

"I have to ask," Varric said, and Carver glanced at the dwarf to see him looking serious. "Does she know of the Grey Wardens?" He shook his head.

"I haven't even tried to write a letter on that," he admitted. Varric nodded, understanding on his face.

"How do you feel?"

"Honestly?" Carver asked. Varric smirked.

"Nah, just bullshit me," he remarked and Carver laughed running a hand through his hair as his laugher died.

"I never want to make a choice like that again," he admitted honestly. "I knew the Grey Wardens did things to stop Blights but seeing it first-hand…it shamed me to know I was a part of that – indirectly at least."

He hated remembering how it all started, him becoming the Inquisitor. The Grey Warden mages had turned to blood magic and tried to control him. However, thanks to his previously abduction by Templars and Blood Mages, Kallian had managed to find a necklace that prevented that kind of incident happening to him again.

They had knocked him out, he regained conscious in time to see the Grey Wardens using magic to hold the Divine, and he had tried to stop them only to end up picking up the orb, lost his memories, and gained the title of the Inquisitor.

"If you had not been there, Corypheus might have achieved his goals," Varric pointed out.

"I know. I keep telling myself that. Varric – you didn't see Kalli pissed off because the Carta attacked me at the Keep or her reaction to when I told her of Corypheus."

"That bad?" he asked and Carver nodded.

"She was furious when she found out the Grey Wardens had captured rather than kill him. Demanded to know why they had not told her since it was a danger that affected all of them. She finished it off by telling the Warden-Commanders to fuck themselves and stormed out."

Varric whistled, shaking his head. "I have heard stories of her but I think you are the only one who had told me what she is really like."

"That is because she hates the title 'Hero of Ferelden'. She says the title belongs to Alistair since he was the one who ended the Blight – sacrificing himself in the process. She feels that no-one cares for Alistair and it makes her so angry."

"Can't blame her," Varric muttered, shaking his head. "You know I have to ask." Carver arched an eyebrow. "Does she know of Cassandra trying to hunt her down?"

Carver grinned. "Yeah, she knows. If you ask me, she ran because she knew Cassandra was looking for her. She never wanted to be the leader during the Blight and the choices she made then hurt her. She refused to have a leadership title again. Can you imagine her if she had the Anchor?" Carver shuddered. "She would be even more pissed off."

"You make her sound so violent, it's wonderful," Varric told him with a wry grin.

"She is only violent when you push her buttons – which is pretty much often. People tend to look down on her for being an elf, no pun intended."

Varric chuckled into his tankard. "I am sure she makes up for her height."

Carver sighed, picking up his own tankard.

"Oh she does, she has a mean kick. Moreover, she has her bombs. She prefers them over her daggers – though she does get up close and personal when the occasion asks it, she prefers safe distances and using her bombs to give her an advantage."

"Tell me about her. It would be nice to hear what she is like. I mean…" he trailed off and Carver understood. Even now, it was still difficult for them to say Anders' name. "Blondie never spoke of her much," he finished with a heavy sigh, his eyes dark and he looked older in that moment.

"She's cheeky." Carver smiled. "She likes to laugh, likes to dance. You should see her when she is experimenting with her traps, poisons, and bombs. She has this little laugh whenever something goes right and she pouts when it goes wrong. If something does the unexpected she gets unbelievably excited that you literally need to pin her in place just to get to stay still for a moment."

"You miss her." It was a statement and Carver nodded.

"She makes the day easier. All I have to do is look at her and I know that everything will work out in the end. She makes me believe in myself." Varric sighed as he stared at Carver before he smiled softly.

"You know, I never thought I would say this – but you have grown a lot, kid." Carver chuckled. "And I think she has been a good influence on you."

"I think she has too," He smiled softly. "You know – I thanked Hawke for sending me to the Grey Wardens." Varric's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Hawke never told me that!" he exclaimed, wounded. "I thought I was Hawke's best friend. Where was I when this happened?"

"Not long after we returned from Vimmark Mountains. Hawke wondered how I was getting on with the Grey Wardens – especially after that letter I had sent. I apologised for my actions and said 'Thank You'." He grinned broadly at the memory. "I actually thought Hawke was going to faint. Mother was nearly hysterical when she saw Hawke's pale face and clutching the back of the chair, trying to breathe."

Varric laughed heartily, slapping his knee as he did. "Mother got Hawke to sit down; Bodahn brought forward a glass of whisky just to get some colour back into Hawke's cheeks."

Varric laughed harder. "Did you tell your mother or did you just let her fuss over Hawke?" He gave Carver a knowing glance. Carver laughed. Varric knew him.

"I told her, of course." He shot Varric a mock wounded look. "Mother just rolled her eyes when I told her what I had said. She scolded Hawke for being so dramatic. Of course I would come around and thank Hawke; Hawke did help bring me up."

"I do not know if I should be this amused or start feeling sorry for Hawke," Varric admitted.

"Both, if you can?" Carver offered. Varric shot him a wounded look.

"Boy, I am a master of multi-tasking," Varric informed, almost snootily. "However, I cannot multi-task when it comes to Hawke."

"Is there anyone who actually can?" Carver asked, genuinely curious, partly jesting.

"Probably not," Varric admitted slowly. "I don't think even Hawke can multi-task." Carver grinned mischievously.

"Do you think Cullen has stopped looking over his shoulder for Hawke?"

Varric laughed. "I hope so. The poor man barely slept while Hawke was here. I thought Cassandra was going to intervene by sending someone over with a cup of herbal tea. I think I saw her side-eyeing Solas."

"Probably hoped Solas could put the Commander into a sleep," Carver agreed, also laughing.

"However you do have to admit that he does have a good reason to fear Hawke," Varric told him.

"He was probably hoping nothing would be following Hawke here. Hawke never did have the best luck in Kirkwall."

"It shows," Varric admitted. Carver nodded, remembering how Hawke looked. Being on the run had not been easy for his older sibling. He had offered Skyhold as a place of shelter but Hawke had told him that they were going to Weisshaupt Fortress so they could relay what happened with the Grey Warden.

It hurt to watch Hawke walk away. Even though he knew Hawke could handle anything, it did not stop him from worrying.

"Hawke will be fine," Varric spoke up and Carver looked at him. "You know Hawke, never the type to stay down." He nodded. It comforted him and he mentally thanked Varric. "At least the Wardens will never be bored if Hawke's bad luck follows them."

Both of them sat in silence for a moment before they started snickering. Then they started chuckling then it turned to laugher. Varric shook his head while Carver rested his hands on the table, leaning forward.

"Oh, the nightmares it must cause," Varric said between laugher. Carver agreed before the dwarf's words dawned on them and their laugher slowly died as the memories of the Fade slowly returned to them.

Carver sat back in his chair again while Varric sighed. "Well, that was a comedown."

Carver chuckled weakly as his eyes landed on the papers between them.

"I left Stroud behind in the fade," he slowly admitted. "I had to choose between my older sibling and my Commander…how do I process that?"

"You talk about it," Varric told him and Carver looked at Varric to see he was looking off into the distance. "You don't bottle it up; you find a way to release it before it takes over you."

Carver remembered the letter he got from Hawke telling him that the idol they had found had corrupted Bartrand. Seek help for Bartrand or end his life had been the only choice left for Varric. Carver had not been able to imagine how Varric had felt until he had been stuck with a similar choice.

"Family," Carver muttered and Varric grunted, raising his own tankard.

"Family," he agreed as Carver tapped their tankards together.

~_BTI_~

Carver groaned as he stepped into the bedroom from the bathing room, his skin still slick with water. He rubbed his wet hair with the towel, wandering over to the desk to see that he had received new letters.

He grunted, recognising some of the handwriting before he made his way over his bed, pulling the towel away from his hair and wrapping it around his waist when he had the feeling he was being watched.

"There's the sight I love coming home to," a familiar sultry voice teased and he stiffened then slowly turned his head toward the stairs where his lover was leaning against the bannister, her arms crossed and her head cocked with that teasing smile on her lips.

"Kallian." He could hardly believe she was here. She pushed herself off the bannister, slowly walking to him. His eyes dropped to take in her swaying hips, clad in soft brown leather breeches.

She reached him, drawing her finger down his chest before they met his towel and she teasingly ran her finger over the material.

"Afternoon," she greeted. He stared at her before he laughed, cupping her face and bending down to kiss her, deeply.

She purred into his mouth, pushing herself onto tiptoes as his hands wandered over her body before sliding around her waist, holding her tight to him.

"Afternoon," he agreed, pulling away so he could look down at her. Her wide brown eyes sparkled with happiness. Her dark brown locks pulled back in its usual long ponytail. "You are a sight for sore eyes."

She smiled and he noticed the new scar on her forehead, nearly hidden by her hair. "What happened here?" One hand went to the scar, gently tracing it.

"A bandit." She rolled her eyes. "He caught me off guard then I caught him off guard." He smiled.

"I guess that means your new trap worked?" She nodded.

"Delightfully so," she agreed, kissing his chin before she pulled away and taking his left hand, pulling it up to her face so she could see the Anchor. "Does it hurt?" she looked at him and he shook his head.

"It's more…like a scab," he tried to find the right words to express the anchor.

"Hmm," she looked closely and he smiled. She always liked to know how things worked. He missed seeing her like this, missing going home to her to see her working on her designs and experimenting.

He yelped when she placed her thumb onto the mark, electrocuting them both. He yanked his hand away from her while she squeaked and he glared at her, shaking his hand.

"Please do not touch things when you don't know what they do. Especially since this can open and close rifts!" he exclaimed.

She laughed, causing him to look at her with wide eyes before he rolled them as she grabbed his hand again.

"I wonder if I could mimic the effects into a bomb…" she trailed off and he nearly choked on his own tongue.

"Kallian – you are not using my anchor for inspiration," he told her. She pouted. "No!" He glared at her. "Demons like to come out of these rifts so let's not go attracting anymore trouble."

"Fine," she muttered and he sighed, his shoulders slumping before he realised something.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, looking at her again.

"I thought you might want to talk," she told him, tilting her head. He stared at her before he sighed.

"Kalli…I…" he started, but she smiled softly.

"I know," she interrupted him and he frowned. "People have loose lips when they are drunk. I stayed at a few taverns while making my way here. I wish I could say I am surprised, Carver, but I am not. Grey Wardens have always done what they want to do when it comes to Blight. Raising a Demon Army was bound to be one of them."

"You are such a pessimist," he gently teased and she rolled her eyes.

"At least I do not need to worry about these Grey Wardens dragging me anywhere."

"They would need to go through me first," he countered darkly and she placed a hand on her chest.

"My Hero," she winked and he rolled his own eyes. Her hand returned to his towel, her finger teasing the skin.

"Kalli-" he groaned, giving her a warning look but she just reached up on tiptoes, nipping his collarbone before she smoothed her tongue over the mark and sucked softly. He groaned, his hands tightening on her hips.

Her fingers slowly walked up his stomach before she slid her arms around his neck, tugging him down. He met her eagerly, his lips meeting hers. She moaned, her hands sliding into his hair and he wrapped his arms fully around her waist, lifting her up.

She grinned into his mouth, wrapping her legs around his waist, slowing their kiss down to soft teasing kisses.

Carver's hands went to her thighs and he squeezed, enjoying the way she groaned before she unwound her legs, falling back onto the ground, pulling away from him. He leaned in but she shook her head.

"Uh-huh," She smiled teasingly, her fingers lightly tracing his skin. He groaned, pulling her back in as he bent his head down.

"Kalli," he whispered and she smiled, kissing him softly. His hand slid into her dark locks, needing her close.

Her hands slid around his waist and over his back as she turned them around and walked him backward. When he felt the back of his legs meet the bed, she pulled away, smiling up at him. One hand ran down his front, reaching his towel and her smile turned devious.

"So, let's lose this," the towel slipped free before she dropped it, pushing him to sit on the bed in one movement. "No need to cover up the goods." Her eyes glanced downward, the appreciation clear on her face.

"Maker's breath, Kallian, you need better lines," he muttered, feeling his cheeks heat up. She smiled as she straddled him, still clad in her clothes. His hands went to her hips.

"Sure – you can teach me," She used her body to push him down. "Later." She kissed him and in that moment, his world felt brighter.

~_BTI_~

Kallian purred as he ran a hand through her hair, occasionally rubbing her ear. She really liked it when he rubbed her ear, purring like a kitten – not that he would ever tell her that. He liked being alive.

She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder, he ran his thumb over the tip of her ear, causing her to shiver, her nose nuzzling his neck, and he turned to look at her.

Her brown eyes were warm and shining with happiness, her cheeks flushed and she smiled, her hand going to his cheek. He smiled back, her fingers stroking his cheek before they reached his lips.

"I've missed you," she told him, stroking his bottom lip before that mischievous twinkle appeared in her eyes. "And your ability to help me burn off stress." He rolled his eyes, a rueful smile curling his lips.

"Good to know you just want me for my body still," he teased back and she laughed, rubbing her nose against his jaw before she kissed his chin. He dipped his head so their lips met and she sighed, cupping the side of his face.

"I missed you too," he told her when he pulled away. "It has been too long." She laughed as she leaned in, resting their foreheads together, lightly brushing their lips together before pulling away.

"So did someone else," she winked and he groaned when he felt a familiar weight climbing up his body, coming to a stop on his chest. He looked down to meet the blue eyes of the tabby cat, who was currently sitting regally on his chest.

"Pounce," he greeted, getting a meow in return.

"He missed you," Kallian told him.

"Uh huh." He never took his eyes off the cat.

"Climbed into my backpack when I said I was coming here to visit you."

"I am sure he did."

Kallian laughed. "Carver, I did not bring him here just to annoy you. He really did miss you. Kept sulking that not even Ghost could make him happy."

"And where is the hound?" he asked, thinking of Kallian's faithful Mabari.

"Downstairs. Apparently Leliana wants to use him for training?" Kallian sounded confused while Carver ran a hand over his face.

"Great," he muttered. Now he was going to have to face pissed-off terrified soldiers who now had a Mabari chasing them. That was just wonderful.

"I am sure Ghost will be fine." She kissed his cheek and he laughed as his hand fell onto the bed.

"Oh, that I have no doubt," he told her, still laughing as he shook his head. "Kalli – he is going to scare them half to death. The other half – probably up a tree." She laughed, her face burying onto his neck while Pounce curled up on his chest. "Yes, great, you make yourself comfortable. It's not like I need to breathe or anything."

Kallian snorted as Pounce just gave him a slow blink before resting his head on his paws, closing his eyes and feigning sleep. He knew the cat was faking it. It was always faking.

"You are horrible." She brought her head up and he turned to look at her. "Ghost is a puppy and Pounce is not heavy. Stop making him feels self-conscious about weight."

"He doesn't sleep on your chest," he muttered.

"No, he takes up your space in bed when you are not there," she told him.

"He does not," Carver muttered, glaring at her and she smiled. He just grumbled as he turned to glare at the cat who was always trying to steal his spot.

He heard her laugher die before she leaned in, kissing his shoulder.

"I heard Stroud died," she whispered and he nodded. "I'm sorry. I know he meant a lot to you."

"Kalli-"

"It's not easy losing a fellow Warden," she looked at him, her eyes shining with sympathy and understanding. "Do not feel you need to bottle it up."

"I had to choose between him and Hawke," he whispered and she stiffened before she softened, kissing his shoulder.

"I am sure the two of them made good arguments as to why they should stay behind," she guessed and he nodded.

"Hawke wanted to make up for letting Corypheus out."

"Hawke takes on too much blame," she murmured. "I had not even thought that Corypheus could take over another Grey Warden. I thought only Archdemon had that ability."

"Stroud said the same and he said that he wanted to stay behind, to restore the Grey Wardens' honour, to make up for what happened to the Divine." Kallian sighed.

"We should place the blame at those who started this in the first place," she pushed herself up so she could look down at him. "The Grey Wardens who chose to imprison him rather than kill him. So far, my search had shown that the Grey Wardens had not even attempted to try to kill him. Just try to control him."

"That was what Janeka wanted to do. Larius wanted to stop them. It is funny how things worked out. He was the one who ended up controlling them."

"And they buried the secret so no-one would find out what they were doing. Grey Wardens do tend to justify the end for the means." She shook her head. "However, this time? Their means is what brought upon their end. I am surprised you did not send them out of Orlais where it would be safer."

"They need to prove themselves again, to the world and to themselves. They lost themselves in the process. The Calling had been scaring them and they made some bad choices. They deserved the chance to make up for it."

He noticed Kallian had an amused smile on her face and sighed. "You are getting too good at this."

"Hmm, I do spend a lot of time with Leliana, remember?" she asked. Carver just sighed. "Plus, I was interested in hearing your reasons from you. You needed to hear yourself, to hear your reasons why you agreed to let the Grey Wardens join the Inquisition."

"Do you think the Warden-Commanders are angry?" he asked.

"All I know is that I am dodging them every chance I get. They have not been too happy with me for not sticking around to help recruit."

"You do have a good reason," Carver reminded. "Considering how they pretty much got pissed off with you for stopping the Blight within a year and Alistair's sacrifice was pretty much brushed under the carpet as something every Grey Warden should feel honoured to do."

Kallian sighed as she slumped back down onto the bed, rubbing her finger over her lips before she tapped her bottom one.

He watched her for a moment before he sighed.

"You are not staying, are you?" he asked. Her finger slowed before she sighed, curling into his side again and he ran his hand over her side.

"No. I came here because of a former Grey Warden – Fiona. She no longer has the taint and Leliana said that she was here."

"Yeah, she was the leader of the mage Rebellion," he slowly admitted and her nose wrinkled.

"She's a mage?" she asked and Carver nodded. "Great." She dropped her head onto his shoulder. "I thought I was finished with them."

"Yeah," He kissed her head. "I have a feeling they will be around for a while."

"Urgh, I hate dealing with mages," she muttered before she sighed, shifting so she was now looking at him. "Could you talk to her for me?"

"Forget it. I am not going anywhere near her." She pouted but he stayed firm, shaking his head. "No, I am not going anywhere near her."

"Fine," she muttered, curling into him further. He chuckled as he tightened his grip around her, kissing the top of her head in comfort.

"Being a Warden is bullshit," she muttered and he laughed.

"Being the Inquisitor is bullshit," he told her. She looked at him. "But I am glad you are here." She smiled as she touched his bottom lip.

"So am I. Even if it does mean I am surrounded by mages and wardens." He stared at her before he laughed, pulling her in as she laughed into his chest.

Yeah, being the Inquisitor is bullshit, but he had her and he could do anything with her having his back.

The End

Kallian Tabris (City Elf) specialised in bomb/Poison/Traps because they were simpler ways of dispatching a foe without needing to put her in undue danger.

Thanks to Pervinca for betaing!


	6. Coming Home - Alistair/Elissa Cousland

Title: Coming Home

Pairings: Alistair/Elissa Cousland

Rating: Mature

Summary: He was screwed – not in the way he had been hoping for, nevertheless –  _he was screwed_

Timeline: Post Comics (King & Queen Play-through)

Kink: Angst – like seriously, Er – heavy sexual themes? Angry/Rough implied Sex. (I sincerely do not know how to write Kink warnings)

Warnings: Okay – From what I can tell – the Comics are set after Act 3 of II so the Warden is still around. I am guessing it is roughly six months(?) for the whole the comics to be completed? Because going by the Codex in Inquisition – it has implied that the Warden had been gone for a while so they went missing before Inquisition so this is set in between these two events. *Sighs* Bloody time-lines.

A/N: Light Spoilers for the Comics (nothing major)

(Also hints of 'A Warrior and His Rogue')

Based on a prompt at Kink Meme: http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/9994.html?thread=44505098#t44505098

**Coming Home**

_Yellow Rose_

She was holding a  _yellow rose_.

He was screwed – not in the way he had been hoping for, nevertheless –  _he was screwed_.

"Welcome home, Your Majesty," Arl Eamon (his now Advisor) bent slightly at the waist in greeting, "I trust your quest was successful." Alistair cleared his throat as he tried not to think about the quest.

"It was...eventful." He glanced at his wife, who was staring stonily out at the crowd, still holding the damnable yellow rose. He tipped his head at Eamon, giving Teagan a nod, who gave him a knowing look.

At his side was Anora, the former Queen of Ferelden. Elissa had managed to talk to Anora after the Landsmeet and somehow the two of them had come to an agreement that Anora would be Elissa's advisor.

His wife never failed to amaze him with her silver tongue and he turned to face her.

She looked beautiful in her red and gold dress, her black hair pulled back in a bun, a few strands framing her face. His heart ached at the sight of her. He had nothing but his dreams and memories of her to keep him going in the last few months.

"My Wife," he greeted, giving her a smile. Her eyes darkened, with annoyance or sadness, he could not tell.

"My King," she replied, cordially, and he felt his heart tightened. Oh, she was  _pissed_. That was good to know. "Please greet your People."

He turned, giving them a wave, watching as the Crowd cheered for the return of their King. He wondered why the crowd was here. Usually when one of them was gone, the return was a sedated nature, sneaking into the castle the night before and greeting the People the following day.

Glancing to the side, he saw Eamon giving him a proud nod. Anora narrowed her eyes at the older man and he knew that Eamon had set it up.

Looking to his other side, he saw his wife was still staring straight ahead. Glancing downward, her knuckles were white. Blood slowly dripped from the palm of her hand, where her fingernails dug in, and he, abruptly, turned to her.

"Elissa-" He reached to touch her, grabbing the handkerchief from his pocket and placing it under her hand.

Elissa grabbed the handkerchief, pulling her hand close to her body, away from his touch and he faltered. He had half expected her to pull away from him and it stung to realise he was right.

He sighed and turned to Eamon. "We should enter the Castle. I will meet with them tomorrow." He waved one last time at the Crowd and they seemed to get the message, returning to their duties.

"Very well," Eamon agreed. Alistair turned to look at Elissa once more, who had wrapped the handkerchief around her hand, the blood spotting through the material, still holding the rose.

"My Wife." He held out his arm.

She brushed past his outstretched arm, ignoring the offer, and stepped into the castle, removing her tiara. He followed her. They needed to talk.

"Elissa-" She stopped, her hand falling to her side with the tiara glinting. He had the tiara commissioned for her shortly before their coronation. She had not liked the crown. Wade loved him and Herren still glared balefully at him whenever he stopped by the shop.

"Alistair, we should speak," Eamon spoke up and Elissa stiffened.

"I need to talk to my wife," Alistair told the older man, his eyes not leaving his wife's back.

"Speak with Eamon," Elissa told him. "I have things I need to do." With that, she walked away. She never looked back at him and his heart thudded as his mouth became dry.

Anora shot him a look as she walked past him with Teagan at her side. He barely saw the look nor Teagan's look of sympathy as Eamon grabbed his arm, pulling him down to where the library was.

Alistair frowned when he realised where they were headed instead his office that he had set up specifically for these kind of meetings and wondered what the older man was up to when Eamon opened the door, pushing Alistair in.

Entering, he felt like he was invading. This was one of Elissa's favourite places. He had lost count of the times he came across his wife sleeping with a book in her hands and it brought a smile to his face.

He cannot say she did not warn him as she had told him of her childhood, or that Fergus had told him if he ever wished to look for his wife, the Library should be the first place to search. Of course, Fergus smirking had accompanied that and dodging as Elissa threw a cushion at his head.

He came out of his thoughts when a low bark caught his attention and he refocused to see Damon was lounging in front of the fire and smiled at the hound.

"Damon," he greeted Elissa's hound. Damon slowly got up, his age catching up, and moved over to Alistair, bumping his head against the man's hand. "At least you're not angry at me." He chuckled, kneeling so he could give the hound a good scratch.

Damon whined, tilting his head, his brown eyes wide...and sad. Alistair felt his heart sank. Damon was an extension of Elissa's feelings. If he ever wanted to know what his wife was feeling, all he had to do was look at the dog and he knew.

"Sorry boy, I won't leave again," he told him. Damon huffed out a bark, bumping his forehead against Alistair, garnering a laugh from him. "Yeah, I can't really promise that, can I?" A wave of sadness crashed through him as he thought about his wife.

"Alistair, if you are quite finished?" Eamon's voice brought him back and he stiffened as he remembered why he was in the library in the first place. He sighed, straightening; Damon sat down at his side, turning to face Eamon.

"If this is about my quest-"

"It is about your wife," he interrupted Alistair.

Alistair narrowed his eyes. "What about my wife?" A hard tone entered his voice.

"Do not take that tone with me, Alistair," Eamon warned him. "I only have your best interest at heart after all." Alistair resisted the urge to scoff. Eamon had been trying to meddle in his and Elissa's relationship for years – before they had even gotten married – that his temper was at fraying point.

He had already vented to Zevran about Eamon's audacity when it came to Elissa. The Assassin had jokingly offered to take out the old man. Even today, Alistair was still unsure if Zevran had really been joking or if he had actually meant it.

"You have been trying to meddle in our relationship for a good while," Alistair reminded as he crossed his arms. "Do not try to deny it. And it is wearing thin."

"My job is ensuring the line of the Theirin continues," Eamon reminded Alistair and he curled his fingers into his palms. Here they went again. "I find it unsettling that after nearly 9 years together, you have yet to produce an heir."

"Elissa and I have told you that we do not wish for an Heir just yet. There are troubles brewing. We do not wish to bring a child up in this madness." A half of a lie. They had been trying for a child, the dreams of the young girl had been plaguing Elissa ever since their travels during the Blight.

However, at the same time, the rumours had caused them to put their plans on hold for the time being. Neither of them liked the sound of the rumours and admitted that having a child would make things complicated for them.

He already feared for her life as it was, the thought of her pregnant with their child had only increased that fear ten-fold. The nightmares that haunted him...he shivered at the memories.

"And I keep telling you that is precisely the reason why you should be giving us an heir. If we were to lose you, the country would be in uproar over the loss of their King and lack of Heir! Just as we were during the Blight!"

"Even if I were to fall, Elissa is perfectly capable of carrying the Throne. Even if she were to step down, we have made it clear that the Throne is to return to Anora," Alistair reminded.

"Please, Alistair!" Eamon gave him an exasperated sigh. "The Theirin line must be carried forward. You need to produce a child."

"Elissa-"

"You should consider that maybe Elissa is not as faithful as you may wish to believe she is," Eamon cut in. Alistair narrowed his eyes at the older man. He had been wondering when Eamon would get round to using that excuse.

Funny how it was perfectly fine for man to have lovers – he knew of Calian's less than discreet affairs - yet a woman would be condemned. Even though he knew Elissa was faithful, he also knew that Eamon would stop at nothing to rip her reputation to shreds, purely because she has not given him an heir.

The only reason he allowed Eamon to stay around was the older man had been Calian's, the former King, Uncle. It was no wonder he preferred Teagan's presence. Teagan had understood Alistair and Elissa's concerns regarding the rumours. Teagan had been the one to bring it forward.

"Oh?" he asked, lightly, wondering where the old man was going with this.

"She has been seen sneaking out of the castle during the night. There are rumours that she may have a lover in the city. For your sake, your Majesty, you should consider a new wife. Maybe one who can bear you an heir?"

Alistair gritted his teeth. He remembered finding the letters Eamon had sent to Calian, urging him to set aside his wife – Anora – for a younger one, for one could bear him an heir. In addition, if he remembered correctly, Calian had pretty much ignored the older man.

"I shall take that under advisement," he informed Eamon, whose eyes narrowed.

"Alistair-"

"I once told you to keep your nose out of mine and Elissa's relationship." He narrowed his own eyes at the older man. "I trust Elissa." Eamon was silent for a moment before he nodded.

"Very well," Eamon stepped back.

"Is that all?" He asked and Eamon nodded. "You are dismissed." Eamon straightened before he turned and left the library.

Alistair let out a rough sigh as his hands dropped down at his side. Damon licked the back of his hand and he looked down, rubbing the hound's head.

"What do you say? Should I kick him out?" Damon barked and Alistair gave a short laugh. "I think I should have a talk with my wife." It came out darker than he intended but it was no less true.

**~_CH_~**

Asking a servant where his wife was led him to their bedroom. He hovered outside the door for a moment before he steeled himself and opened the door, entering the room. He saw her and closed the door behind him.

She was sitting at the vanity. Her hair was unbound, loose over her shoulders. His hands itched to bury themselves into her locks once more.

She glanced at him over her shoulder through the looking glass, the blue of her eyes turning steely.

"My King." He flinched as she stood up, turning around to face him. He took in the sight, his wife was just as gorgeous as the day he met her, albeit more dangerous now than she had been then. Her chest heaved beneath the heavy velvet corset and her hands clenched at her sides.

He walked toward, words running through his head as he tried to find a way to fix this chasm between them.

"Elissa-"

A sharp crack of flesh meeting flesh sounded through the air. He stared dumbly at the wall he now been forced to look at, his cheek stinging before he turned to look at his wife, her dark blue eyes hard with anger.

"You left," she breathed out, her fury clear, "In the middle of the night, without a Single. Damn. Word!"

"Elissa-"

"You do  **not**  get to address me!" she shouted, cutting him off again and he felt his own anger mount. "I am your wife! And you did not even confide in me before you left!"

"I had to!" he told her, grabbing her arm and she yanked it free.

" _You had to_?!" She demanded, shoving at his chest, making him stumble backward, "You  _had_  to leave in the middle of the night?!" She hit his chest. "You  _had_  to leave without word?!" She grabbed his shirt. "You  _had_  to leave me alone while Eamon tried to fill me with doubt that you had found another to love?!" She shoved him away again.

He was speechless. Eamon had been doing  **what?!**  So it was not just him Eamon was trying to fill with doubts, it was also his wife.

Shame bloom through him. Six months, he had been gone for six months and Eamon had those six months to poison their love.

"I did not find another," he told her desperately as he reached for her, hoping that she would believe him. She neatly dodged his attempts before scoffing as she crossed her arms over her chest, emphasising her bust.

"I am not foolish, Alistair. You could no more betray me that I you. The ritual with Morrigan proved that," she reminded and he rubbed his forehead, relief crashing through him. She did not believe he had betrayed her. He thanked the Maker for that.

"Thank you-"

"Do not think this absolves you for leaving without a word," she interrupted coolly, and he grimaced.

_Yellow Rose_

He really should have remembered she had been holding a yellow rose and it was going to take a good bit of grovelling – looking at her, he winced – a lot of grovelling,  _a lot_.

"I had to go," he told her, holding up his hands as she prepared to shout at him. "I  **had**  to."

She paused; he could see the indecision in her eyes and wished he knew what to say to make up for his actions.

"You could have left a letter," she whispered. "Anything to let me know that you were safe, that you would return." He saw a tear trickle free before she wiped it away, turning her face and his heart hurt. He hated making her cry.

"Elissa," he stepped closer, "I am sorry. I should have left you a letter, I should have left you a rose or something but I...I did not know what to say. Everything seemed wrong."

" _I love you, I have to do this, I'll be back when I can_ ," she suggested.

Yeah, he was an idiot.

He remembered looking down at her the night he left. She looked so peaceful that he had to resist touching her, to resist kissing her and waking her up.

It had taken everything in him to leave their room, promising that he would make it up to her when he came back. Now looking back, he really should have left her something. He could not imagine what been going through her mind.

"I am going to stay in the other room," she broke into his thoughts, sweeping past him to get to the door. "I think it would be better-" He turned to look at her.

"No," he told her and she froze.

"What?" she asked, her voice deadly, as she turned to look at him.

"You are not leaving this room."

"I am not?" she stepped closer to him. "Who do you think you are-?"

"Your husband!" he shouted, grabbing her arms and pulling her in close. "I am your husband and I'll be damned if I let you go and stay somewhere else in this castle!"

"Now you decide you are my husband?" she demanded, trying to break free of his grip. "You, who disappeared for six months?!" She broke free.

"Yes, damn it!" He barked at her as he tried to grab her again. "I am your husband! You are my wife and you will not be sleeping in another room!" She evaded him.

"I am not some child you can keep in a room whenever they do something naughty," she snapped back. "I think it would be better if we were to sleep in separate bedrooms."

"And I say no!" He clenched his fists as both of them glared at each other. "I am not sleeping in this room without you. Wherever you go, I will go." She exhaled, exasperated.

"That is not going to happen." Her hand waved through the air as she turned away from him.

"Like hell it is not going to happen," he snapped, fear nagging at him. He cannot let her out of his sight, not with everything he had seen. He did not trust assassins not to try to kill her.

"Alistair-"

"I said no!" She took a step back, her eyes widening and he cursed, rubbing his face. "No, you can't stay somewhere else. Things happened on my quest and I cannot – I need you here."

Elissa scoffed and he ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

"Alistair..." she trailed off, obviously not knowing what to say. "We need the time apart." It looked like it tore her to say it. It tore at him to hear her say it and he shook his head, stepping forward.

"No," he repeated his voice soft but just as firm.

"Alistair," she took a step back but he refused to let it derail him.

"You are not sleeping anywhere else but our bed." She glared at him. "We need to talk. We've never let anything come between us."

"I do not remember either of us disappearing in those times," she reminded him.

"Elissa-"

"Maker damn it, Alistair!" She looked so tired. "We did not stop the Blight within a year just for you to up and leave me!"

"I couldn't take you with me!" He exclaimed. "Ferelden cannot be without both their King and Queen. And it was my duty to see the quest through to the end."

"And what about me?" she demanded, anger renewing in her eyes. "Did I not deserve to know of my husband's whereabouts?"

"It was safer, for both of us. People wanted me dead!"

"I  _thought_  you were  _dead_!" The look on her face nearly broke him.

Shame and understanding slammed through him and he inwardly cursed himself for being so idiotic. She had lost her family. She would fear losing him and he had left without a word, without telling her what he was doing or where he was going.

He had not even written her a letter. He had tried, Maker knew he tried, but nothing came out the way he wanted it, so in the end he just screwed up the parchments, throwing them into the waste bin, wishing she had been with him to help him sort out his thoughts.

"Elissa-" She turned away from him, crossing her arms over her chest. He wanted to reach out to her, he wanted to touch her, but he knew if he were to try, she would walk away.

"I spent six months in terror that you were dead. I waited for news from anyone to tell me where you were, if you were alive or dead and I got nothing." She turned around to face him. "Do you even understand what that made me  _feel_?"

"I am sorry." He stepped closer to her. She did not move and he took it as a good sign. "I never meant to make you think that. I tried to write to you. But nothing sounded right."

" _Anything_  would have been preferable to the torment I was putting myself through."

His laugh was short and bitter. "And I regret that." He shook his head.

"But you would make the same choice again if given the chance," she retorted as she turned to face him, tiredness on her face. She ran her hand over her face. "I-" she looked away. "I will just go-"

He got there first, slamming her against the wall, breathing heavily as he stared down at his wife as she glared defiantly back at him.

"You are not going anywhere," he told her, his voice low and hard that he could barely believe it came from him. Her eyes darkened, her lips pulling back in her trademark snarl whenever she was pissed and, Maker forgive him, she was  _gorgeous_.

"So you say," she told him, her voice was low and he could not help himself. He kissed her, hard enough to leave bruises as he clutched her at her waist, pulling her up against him.

Her hands went to his chest and for a moment, he thought she was going to push him away when she clutched his shirt, returning his kiss with equal fervour that he felt like they were battling.

Elissa tugged on his shirt, one hand letting go to tangle in his hair and she yanked. He hissed, nipping her bottom lip as he pressed her against the wall, harder as they broke the kiss, breathing harshly.

"Do not think I forgive you," she told him, her voice hard but he just kissed her again. Her hand let the shirt go, running down his body and slipping under his shirt, resting on the small of his back when he felt her nails dig in.

She bit his bottom lip and he pulled back with a harsh yelp, catching that savage smirk on her lips and flicked his own tongue over his and tasted metallic. Blood. She bit him hard enough to draw blood and it fuelled him on as he kissed her deeply, pulling her up against him.

She scratched her nails over his back and he groaned, pulling away to look down at her. She was staring angrily back at him, her lips flushed and swollen. The blush dipping down to her chest and he ripped her dress in the middle, dimly surprised at his own strength but overwhelmed with his anger and his desire for his wife.

Maker's breath – she could stir emotions in him like no other. When he loved her, his devotion for her was clear for everyone to see. When he was pissed with her, his anger fuelled him on like some beast desperate to stake his claim.

The dress fell to the ground, leaving her in a sheer shift that hid nothing from his gaze. He swallowed, his hands smoothing over the soft material at her waist, roughly pulling her back in to kiss her deeply again.

She fought him, tearing at his shirt, and shoving them off his shoulders. She moved away to pull his shirt down his arms but was caught his elbows, baring his chest and shoulders to her.

She leaned forward, her teeth sinking into the flesh above his heart. He hissed, his hands flexing on her waist before she flicked her tongue over the mark, her blue eyes dark as she looked up at him.

"Tease," he snarled, letting go of her long enough to rid his shirt, grabbing her waist again.

"I really hate you right now," she muttered as he hoisted her up, drawing her legs around his waist, pulling the shift up as he did.

"I really love you," he shot back, a smirk crossing his lips before he kissed her neck, biting down on her shoulder. She let out a cry of his name and he grounded harder into her. Her head fell back and he slipped one hand into her dark locks and yanked her head forward as he lifted his own head.

"Do not look away," he ordered her, his voice dark.

"Is that my King ordering me?" she replied, sarcasm clear and he smacked her ass.

"Your husband," he shot back as she yelped then her eyes narrowed.

"That is funny-" he cut her off with another smack and he felt her answer on his stomach before he kissed her deeply and her nails dug into his shoulders then drew them down his arms, leaving behind scratches.

He bit her bottom lip, tugging before he kissed her harshly again as she tightened her legs around his waist, grinding down on him and he tightened his grip before pulling her away from the wall.

He needed her right now, and he stumbled over to the bed as one of her hands returned to his hair, yanking his head back before she kissed his neck, her teeth scraping down the side.

With a grunt, he dropped her onto the bed, watching as she bounced, looking up at him. Her body was hard; she tilted her chin in that way that infuriated yet turned him on.

A cruel smile crossed her lips, baring her teeth as she ripped the belt away, throwing it to the floor, and then tugged at his laces. She barely got his breeches down when he hauled her up against his body, ripping the shift free from her body.

His own nails raked over her side before he shoved her backward, straddling her body as he grasped her wrists, and pinning them down onto the bed before he kissed her deeply.

**~_CH_~**

Alistair panted as he stared at the ceiling. That was new, definitely new.

They had never been that rough and angry at each other. Well – there was that time that she was almost in danger due to an assassination bounty on her head and she wanted to use herself as bait.

However – this time, they had left marks – nothing permanent – but it was enough to let anyone, if they were to see, just how violent they had been. Moreover, he did not think they had resolved anything.

He swallowed before he sighed, closing his eyes. They had not resolved anything. They argued and they fought and they had sex yet they had not talked about anything.

Damnation. He opened his eyes, steeling his nerves.

"Elissa – I-"

"Don't," she cut him off, her voice soft. He slowly, gingerly, turned onto his side. They were going to pay for being rough with each other in the morning.

She was looking away from him. He reached out, slowly turning her face to him and he saw her eyes close.

"Look at me," he gently ordered. A crease wrinkled her forehead. "I can make it an order from your King if you wish." A smile twitched at her lips before she sighed, opening those eyes that caught his attention when he first met her.

They had been so dark, so emotionless that it made his heart hurt and he ended up saying something stupid that made them light up briefly for a moment, a small smile flashing across her lips.

Now – they were tired. He stroked her cheek with his thumb, sighing as he wished he knew what to say to her.

"Was it worth it?" she asked, her own eyes searching his.

"I…don't know," he softly admitted. "It was not what I expected." She swallowed before she nodded, her eyes dropping to look at his chest, her bottom lip trembling for a moment.

"I was terrified," she slowly admitted. "I had nightmares that someone would bring a letter telling me that you were dead. I dreamt that I was the one to find your body. I was petrified that you were never going to come back."

"You were the one thing that kept me going," he confessed as he slowly moved in closer. "Knowing you were waiting for me was the one thing that kept me going." She sniffled. "And I wish you had been there when I discovered the truth."

He felt so raw, so open and he knew that she heard it as she looked back up at him again with pain in her eyes. She just knew what he was thinking.

"I wish I had been there," she admitted as she touched his bottom lip, fingering the bite mark. "I wish you had let me in long enough for me to be able to comfort you."

"I-"

"Do not deny it, Alistair. You were never going to tell me the reason for your quest if I had not discovered the letter." She sounded so hurt. "I understand! I thought you of all people would have known that!"

"I would have told you." He desperately tried to believe himself but he could not. She just scoffed and he felt his heart break. He tried to protect her and he hurt her. "I love you, Elissa. So damn much that it's-" He cut himself off, unsure what to say.

It drove him crazy, how much he loved her. He wanted nothing more than to protect her, to keep her safe but he knew that she was a fighter, she could protect herself – even against him if it came down to it.

"I know," she whispered and he looked to see tears in her eyes as she looked up into his. Could she see his heart shattering? He could see her heart breaking. "I love you," she admitted brokenly. "But I really hate you right now."

"I know." It hurt but he knew it deep inside of him that it would take time for them to recover from this. He never wanted it to be like this – he never thought it could be like this but he had done this to them.

He had left her alone for six months without a word, a warning, nothing. While he was fending off assassinations and protecting himself from those who wished him harm, she was here in the Castle, protecting herself from Eamon and protecting their country – a duty they swore they would do together.

Tears trickled free from her eyes and he swallowed as his own tears filled his eyes.

"Please, Elissa," he wiped them away, not sure he what he was begging her for.

"Please-" a sob broke free from her, splintering his heart further, "Please do not leave without a note or talking me, again,  _please_." He pulled her into a hug. She clung to him, holding him tight. "I cannot lose you, Alistair." She buried her face into his neck, her tears hot as her body racked with sobs.

"I promise," he whispered, kissing her shoulder, running a hand through her hair and down her back, remembering the time she had asked him not to leave back in Redcliffe after she briefly broke down over the loss of her family.

He had already broken that promise once; there would not be a second time.

The End

Hmm...

Thanks to Pervinca for betaing (If not for Pervinca – this would have never gotten posted)


	7. Forgive Me Not - Varric/Malika Cadash

Title: Forgive Me Not

Pairings: Varric/Malika Cadash (Kind of) with a dash Lacy Harding/Malika Cadash and Cole

Rating: Mature

Summary: It was torture, and it was his fault

Timeline: Inquisition after 'Forget Me Not' (Chapter 3)

Warnings: Slight angst, and sexual tones

Thank you, to the prompter, for giving me this evil idea – you know who you are.

Forgive Me Not

It was torture, and it was his fault. He should have insisted on staying to talk to her, to get through to her when she ordered him to leave. But he had not and now, he was paying the price.

She laughed, her joy emanating from her body, as she tilted her head back. The sunlight made the red in her dark hair glow, giving her a fiery halo.

_His hand tightened in those dark locks as she breathed against him. She smiled, her tongue swiping across her full bottom lip before she licked him. He hissed, his heels planting further into the bed and she enveloped him, her sweet hot heat pushing him to the brink. His grip tightened and she moaned around him._

_He had never felt this hard before._

She brought her head down, her strange blue eyes sparkling with happiness. He had heard of the eye change that was a symptom of Lyrium exposure yet she was the first Dwarf to prove that rumour.

Her eyes were dark blue with a light blue inner ring. Strangely hypnotising, and he had found himself staring at her eyes more than one occasion, often catching the attention of their other companions and each of them had commented on it, leaving him bullshitting his way out.

_Her eyes darkened as she looked at him through her dark lashes, her hand gently caressing him before a devious glint entered them, making him breathless, bucking into her mouth as she tightened her lips._

_He groaned, gritting his teeth as he tried to hold back his pleasure, wanting to feel her mouth on him just a little longer, to have those blue eyes glinting with devious knowledge._

It was getting difficult to look at her and not remember their night.

However, she did not remember.

Varric remembered the moment that happened. He had been pacing in front of the fire waiting for her to come out of her room. He remembered hearing the door close and he looked over to see her making her way over to him, concern on her face.

Her dark skin bore none of the marks he had left the night before, and in that moment, everything he knew crashed around him. If he had not left her room that morning, he would have sworn the whole thing had been a dream.

She gave him a smile but there was no denying the concern in her eyes, the tilt of her head, her hair following her movement. the dark locks tempting him into remembering how it felt sliding between his fingers, tangled around them.

"Is everything okay?" She asked, her dark lips move and he flashed back to her lips sucking him, the way they curved in that knowing smile.

The memory had been so strong that he could have sworn that it would have knocked him off his feet if he had not been holding onto the shelf above the fire.

"Varric?" she rounded the table, inching closer to him with one hand held out before she stopped, her eyes going to his side and up.

A soft hand on his shoulder told him that Cole was standing next to him and he felt the dread churn in his stomach, his heart clenching painfully as he stared at her face.

"It was too much," Cole's soft voice solidified his fears. "She wanted it to leave her. So I offered. And I took it."

He closed his eyes, pain racking through him as he took in a shuddery breath.

"Varric?" she sounded so concerned that it made his heart break as he opened his eyes to meet her strange blue ones once more, concern and worry –  **for him**  – all over her face. "What is he talking about?" She so sounded confused that he had to force a smile to face his face, his lips feeling like they were going to crack.

"Nothing duchess," he heard himself say. Her eyes narrowed. "There is nothing to worry about."

Malika did not seem convinced as she looked between him and Cole, his cool hand still on Varric's shoulder. She then slowly nodded, giving him an uneasy smile.

"Okay, then. I'm going to see Cassandra about heading out. I'll let you know what is going to happen."

He gave her a short nod as she spun on her heels, her ponytail swaying, the fire making the locks glow and he remembered.

_The fire was crackling from the fireplace, the shadows dancing over the bed. One moment her lips were glistering, the next they were consumed by the dark._

_Her skin glowing softly, reminding him of the cocoa that Hawke used to like drinking. Her skin felt hot under his hands, her lips soft and pliant against his._

_The way the muscles shifted under his hands as he moved them over her back, pulling her in closer. Her heat against his hardness and the sound of her moans and purrs of pleasure._

_The way her head fell back as his lips caressed the column of her neck, her hips undulating against his, her breasts – bare – pressing against his chest, rubbing deliciously._

_The sway of her hips as she walked reminded him of the way they swayed over his lips, her lips parted panting, her hands buried in his chest hair, gently tugging._

She walked out into the sunlight, blinding him and he looked away, the realisation dawning on him. She was now untouchable – he could not go back and he had lost her.

"Do you want me to help?" Cole asked, his soft voice breaking the silence and he shook his head.

"Nah, Kid. This is something I need to remember." The pressure on his shoulder faded and he knew he was alone as he looked into the fire, regret filling him and he closed his eyes, his hand coming to his forehead.

This was something he needed to remember so he would learn from it. It was his mistake and he needed to pay the penance.

He had lost her – she did not know it – but he had lost her, lost his chance and it hurt more than it should have.

Now he had to watch her. She had changed, although the others would not agree with him. She no longer flirted with him, no longer left those teasing lingering touches on his arms, looking at him through her lashes.

Her small secretive smile now directed at Scout Harding instead of him. Her touches reserved for the other dwarf.

He had seen the two of them whenever they thought someone was not watching them. The way Malika smiled at her, the way Lacy reached out to touch Malika on the elbow, concern written on her face.

The way they would be sitting together in the bar, with their heads bent together and laughing as they shared a drink. Fingers inching closer to the other on the bar, lingering touches. Long enough for him to notice, but not long enough for anyone else to see.

_The memories of her fingers tracing his chest as she straddled him, stroking his shoulders and gliding their way down his arms so they could interlace with his, bringing his hands up over his head, bending over so her lips were mere inches from his._

His hand curled around the crystal of his tumbler, his eyes locked onto the dark liquid with the ice bobbing, clashing together.

She had been hard as crystal when faced with the public, cold as ice when faced with their enemies but in private, she had been fluid, teasing and tempting.

He closed his eyes, bowing his head when her laugher rang out once more.

_Her laugher as she tripped up and he caught her, pulling her hard against her body, making her catch her breath as she stared up at him, joy and excitement in her eyes. The way her arms curled around his neck, pulling him back down for another kiss while he manoeuvred them up the stairs._

_The way she giggled into his mouth when he tripped at the last stair at the top before turning into a moan when he grasped her ass, feeling the curves before his hands slid down to her thighs, squatting slightly at the knees and picking her up._

_The way she gasped as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling away with awe written all over her face and it pleased to know he had swept her off her feet – nearly literally._

_He opened his eyes to see her hands flying through the air as she gestured to something, shrugging helplessly._

_Her fingers slipping in between her legs, the sound of her gasp and her lips parting made him clench his hands. Her legs spread further so he could see her fingers coming away slick yet going back for more._

_Her hips swayed, her head falling back to reveal the slender line of her neck that he had to lean in, kissing the soft and vulnerable skin. He marked her, biting down resulting in a lusty gasp._

_His fingers trailed down her body, sweeping over her breasts to tease the nipples. Smoothing over her tight abs – he liked them – before they slipped between her legs, meeting her fingers._

_One finger slipped inside of her, he groaned into her neck at how hot, slick, and tight she felt. He wanted to take his time, he wanted to savour every moment he had with her._

_He slowly encouraged her, teasing, building her up before he stopped, listening to noises of displeasure, kissing her collarbone softly then he would resume._

_She had been resplendent when he pushed her over the edge, tightening around him with her head falling back, her lips parting and her glorious chest heaving._

_He sat back on his heels, just watching as he continued to draw it out, wringing out every pleasure he could get before he chuckled darkly. He was going to do it all over again._

_Varric tried to push back the memories, to concentrate on what he needed to do, to remember what he was with the Inquisition for._

_He was there to atone; he was there to help. He had failed Anders, had failed Kirkwall so he would be damned (again) if he were to fail the Inquisition, to fail Thedas._

_However, she would not stop haunting his every waking thought. Even though Dwarves did not dream, he could swear she haunted his sleep._

_The scent as she hovered above him, the glint in her eyes as she looked at him through her lashes. The way her lips curved, parting to take him in._

_The way her legs spread and he leaned in, his tongue parting her lips and tasting her deeply. The way her fingers tangled in his hair, the way her hips strained under his strength, his hands pinning them to the bed._

He had screwed up; he called her  _Bianca_ , and in the process, he had lost his chance. The memories of the one woman he had loved and lost had trapped him. He had been lost in the memories of the woman he no longer could have.

He had used her and in that moment – he had shattered her.

. He took a sip of his drink, bitterness burning his throat as he glanced out of the corner of his eyes at the laughing dwarf and smiled sadly.

He could not beg her for forgiveness, nor he could he forgive himself.

The End

Thanks to Pervinca for betaing!

This is Part A of the prompt. I will try and get Part B up when I can


	8. The Stargazers - Alistair/Elissa Cousland

Title: The Stargazers

Pairings: Alistair & Elissa Cousland (Friends)

Rating: Universal

Summary: He cannot sleep, so he makes her sneak out with him

Timeline: Set during Redcliffe – after Haven

Author's Note: This is for Glitterandmoondust who wanted 10 on the Fluff Prompt (Stargazing). This is also somewhat of a teaser for my upcoming story regarding them and I thought it was fitting for Glitterandmoondust to get them ;D

The Stargazers

Alistair huffed, turning in his bed to see the candle slowly flickering in the holder on his bedside table. It marked near enough the middle of the night and he could not sleep. He narrowed his eyes in frustration then flopped onto his back, one arm going above his head and looked at the ceiling.

His other hand went to his stomach, his fingers tapping against the covers. Here he was, safe (that was debatable, and he had that argument with her, not that she listened) and dry, for once. He was not sleeping outside in his (their) tent waiting for that sickening feeling of nausea to wash over him, indicating Darkspawn was nearby.

He was in a soft bed – which was an upgrade to the uncomfortable hard ground he had been sleeping on – yet he was finding it difficult to fall asleep.

A soft snort caught his attention and he turned his head to see his sleeping partner in the other bed.

Alistair could not believe how fast she had fallen asleep. Then again, she had exhausted herself with her argument with Arl Eamon earlier in the day.

He smiled softly, taking in the sight. The only thing he could see of her was her black hair. She had pulled the covers up to her chin and was currently sleeping with her back to him.

At first, he had worried about how she would fare sleeping since she slept so fitfully in his (their) tent. It amazed him to see how much of a difference a bed could make for her.

He returned his gaze to the ceiling wishing he could fall asleep just like she had but his mind was working overtime, remembering everything they had gone through. Thinking about everything they still had to go through, the things they needed to do in order to stop the Blight. Thinking about what would happen after the Blight.

He sighed, looking at out of the window on Elissa's side of the room and he arched an eyebrow as an idea came to him. He eyed his sleeping partner once more.

Fear and excitement waged inside of him before he mustered his courage.

"Elissa," he hissed. She grunted, pulling the covers in tighter. "Elissa!" he tried again.

"What?" her voice was sleepy.

"I can't sleep," he told her and she sighed sleepily.

"What do you expect me to do?" she asked.

"I want you to come somewhere with me," he told her.

"Okay." Alistair grinned before it dawned on him that she must have fallen back to sleep. Rolling his eyes in amusement as he sat up, he saw that she had indeed fallen back to sleep. He crept out of his bed.

He hissed in shock when his bare feet touched the cold wooden floor, falling back onto the bed and grabbing his boots at the end of the bed. He tugged them on before he got back up, shuffling over to Elissa's bed.

He touched her shoulder, shaking her lightly.

"Hmm?" she murmured, rubbing her cheek against her pillow. "Is it my turn for night watch?" she asked, her voice partially slurring.

"Elissa," he shook her harder. She blinked tiredly, turning her head to meet him.

"Alistair?" she peered up at him with sleep bleary eyes before she sighed. "Are you going to ask me more insane questions?" she asked before she yawned. "Because I don't know anything about Darkspawn sleeping habits," her eyes closed, "Or why Leliana keeps giggling when she sees you." A soft snore came from her and he rolled his eyes.

He had never met someone who could sleep as much as she could. Give the woman a bedroll and she could barely sleep, tossing and turning irritably. However, give her a bed, and she could sleep until the Blight had come and gone. And he had no doubt that she would do just that if given the choice.

"You leave me no choice," he warned her, grasping the bedcovers. She gave no indication that she heard him and he smirked, yanking the covers from her body, piling it at the bottom of the bed.

Elissa let out a plaintive whimper, immediately curling into herself. Her legs drew up but he grasped one of her ankles, tugging it.

"You are mean," she whined, blindly trying to swat his hand, which still held her ankle. "Let me go."

"Come with me," he told her.

"Don't wanna," she muttered, turning her face to bury it into her pillow. Alistair wondered if she could even breathe with her nose in the cotton. He let her ankle go, grabbing one of her hands.

"Up we get," he pulled her up. Elissa groaned as she sat up, her hair sticking up and curly from her sleep. She rubbed one eye with the sleeve of her (his) nightshirt before yawning.

Alistair let her hand go, waiting for a moment to see if she would fall over. She did not so he knelt down and quickly pulled on her boots for her. He stood back up, grasping her hands.

"Where are we going?" she asked as he pulled her to feet. She wobbled unsteadily and Alistair held her shoulders until she got her balance. "I was having a good sleep," she muttered, her head falling forward until her forehead rested against his chest.

He chuckled, one hand ruffling her hair before he pulled away to see her blinking at the sudden loss of his support.

"Come on," he repeated, grasping her hand, scooping to pick up the blankets sitting on top of the chest at the end of her bed, and led her toward the door. She just let out another tired groan, following him.

"This had better be worth it, Alistair, because I am missing my sleep for this."

~_TSG_~

Alistair pushed open the door leading to the roof, ushering Elissa through. The night chill cut through them, firmly awakening Elissa as she yelped. Her eyes were wide-awake as she looked around to see where they were.

"Andraste's ass, Alistair, it is  _freezing!_ " she stomped her feet, giving him a glare, and hugging herself. Alistair slid his arm around her waist, pulling her over the spot.

He quickly shook out one of the blankets, settling it down on the ground of the roof. He turned to see her watching him and gestured for her to sit down.

Sighing heavily, Elissa did and Alistair sat down next to her, shaking out the other blanket and allowing it to fall over them.

"Now what?" she asked, looking around before she met his gaze once more. He grinned, getting a small pout before he dropped onto his back, pillowing his head with one of his hands. The other rubbed the blanket between them.

Elissa let out a sigh before she followed him, lying down and her eyes went to the sky. Alistair watched as she frowned, that little crease in her forehead before it smoothed out, wonder crossing her face, her eyes widening and her lips parting with an awed gasp.

"Wow," she whispered, her eyes glued to the sky above them and he felt a wave of happiness with a hint of smugness. It was rare for him to make her speechless so he liked to revel in the brief moments that he did manage it.

"I used to the sneak out to the roof when I was younger," he told her, following her gaze to look at the expanse sky filled with shining, twinkling stars above them.

He held his breath for a moment. It never failed to astound him whenever he saw the sight. The sight of the night sky, how it seemed so  _alive_  in the middle of the night.

"I would go to the roof whenever I wanted some time to myself, to remind myself that everything is different at night. You can look at something during the day but sometimes it would not make sense unless you could also see it at night.

"Did it work?" she asked. Alistair shrugged.

"Sometimes," he told her. "Sometimes I felt like I could take on anything, other times, I felt-" he cut himself short, holding his tongue.

"Alone?" she asked her voice quiet and he huffed out a small chuckle. He should have learned by now that Elissa was beginning to know him better than anyone else did.

"Yeah," he admitted and she hummed softly. "I'd often daydream what my future could be like. Would I become a knight, protecting damsels in distress? Would I become a Hound Master, learning the ways of the hounds and feeling that pride of seeing a pup become one with a master?" He sighed heavily. "Dreams, I guess, that did not come true."

"Oh, I do not know about that," she told him and he could hear her smile in her voice, the teasing in her tone. "You do a good job of defending me when the need calls for it."

Alistair had to grin, shaking his head.

"You do yourself little justice.  _You_  are my knight in shining armour after all, considering the amount of time you saved me."

"Just returning the favour, for all the times you save me," she told him. He caught movement out the corner of his eyes, turning to meet her gaze as she smiled at him. "Shall we say we protect each other just the same?"

Alistair could not stop the smile from crossing his face.

"We are each other's knight in shining armour?" he asked and she shrugged.

"I say I am more of a rogue in dark armour," she corrected him with a devious smile and he had to laugh, knowing of her love for shrouding herself in battle.

"The little devious wolf," he gently teased her, getting laugher from her.

"You know," she turned her gaze back to the sky above them; "The last time I saw stars like this was when my cousin and I snuck out to the roof of my home. There was to be a shooting star and she wanted to make a wish."

"I remember that night," he told her, returning his gaze to the sky above him. "I was excited over the prospect of the shooting star that I spent ages trying to figure out what I should wish for."

"Solona already knew what she was going to wish for. She wanted our Grandfather to get better." Her fingers brushed against the back of his hand. He turned his hand over, letting her laced their fingers together.

Alistair held his breath for a moment before he exhaled, curling his fingers and squeezing her hand gently. He was still getting used to her touching him, getting used to anyone wanting to touch him.

He had spent so long without the touch of another human being but in the last few months of his life, people all found reasons to touch him.

Elissa was the only one who touched his hand, who touched his cheek whenever she was concerned about him, hugging him whenever he managed to say the right thing. It still surprised him whenever she threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

He found himself liking it yet at the same time, he was trying not to get his hopes up. He was an unwanted child – unwanted by his father, unwanted by the wife of the man who took him in, unwanted by the man who gave him away to the Chantry.

He did not think he could bear it if Elissa was suddenly to cast him aside, to not want him touching her, not wanting him near her-

"What did you wish for?" her voice broke into his thought. He turned his head to see she was staring at him, the stars glittering in the reflection of her eyes.

"A friend," he found himself saying and a smile trembled on her lips.

"Looks like your wish came true," she told him and he huffed out a breathless laugh, turning to look at the stars once more as tears filled his eyes and he cleared his throat, trying to rid of the lump in his throat.

"How about you?" he forced himself to ask, his voice coming out rough. "What did you wish for?" Elissa was silent and he had to force himself not to look at her.

"I-" she let out an embarrassed laugh that caught him off guard and he turned to look at her. She was looking at the sky. "I wished for love." She shrugged as a shy smile crossed her lips. "I overheard my parents talking about possible matches for me so I wished that I could find someone that I could fall in love with."

Alistair cleared his throat as he returned to the sky and she nudged him in his side. "I was  _eleven_." He smiled.

They fell into a comfortable silence, just staring at the stars when a familiar sight caught his eye. He removed his hand from behind his head and pointed to the stars, drawing Elissa's attention to it.

"That constellation over there is the Nug, the famed Nug who once managed to charm its way out of becoming dinner for the Dwarves. Some say the Nug was so cute that the King took one look and declared that they could not eat it, for it charmed him with its cuteness

Others say the Nug performed a death-defying stunt, amazing the Dwarves so they hailed it as a Paragon – awarding its very own spot in the Stone.

It was rumoured that a traveller had come across the statue. Inspired by the tale, they wrote a song and sang it to the very heavens, moving the Maker to tears that He allowed the Nug to forever be immortalised in the night skies."

Elissa was silent for a moment before she burst out laughing, her joy ringing clear and Alistair grinned.

" _Who_  taught you how to stargaze?" she asked, turning onto her side to look at him, her smile bright and happy that it made his heart swell to see her.

For too long he had seen her so cold and quiet, the walls built high and strong around her. It taken him time but he eventually broke through the walls, scaling high enough to drop over to the other side where he could see  _this_  woman.

This woman who took delight in everything, the woman who loved to read and explore. The woman who loved to laugh, making the world brighter, and one could match him in wit and jest.

She was becoming his best friend in spite of the danger they faced each day. They were bound together by their tainted blood yet she went out of her way to be in his presence.

"It's a true story!" he told her.

"Uh huh," she agreed.

"It's true – I  _read_  about it," he told her, his voice low. "You know, in a  _book_." She stifled her giggles. "Books do not lie." That made her laugh again and it made his heart light.

"Do you have other stories that you learned?" she asked, meeting his eyes once more.

"Many," he told her enthusiastically.

"Hmm," she moved in closer resting her head on his shoulder, and sighed happily. He curled his arm around her waist, holding her close and resting his cheek on the top of her head. "Alistair?"

"Hmm," For the first time that night, he felt he could sleep.

"Thank you," she told him, her voice low. "For bringing me out here," She turned her head and he looked down to see her smiling at him. "Thank you, for not giving up on me."

He smiled back, kissing her forehead as she closed her eyes, sighing as she slid an arm over his stomach, hugging him. They both turned back to the sky and he smiled.

"What are friends for?" he asked. She chuckled then nudged his chin with the top of her head.

"Tell me another story," she told him.

"As you wish,  _my lady_ ," he teased.

"Do not start  _that_  again,  _my prince_ ," she warned him, and he laughed, kissing the side of her head then lifted his hand to point out another constellation.

No, he never once thought that he would share his secret spot with someone who was slowly becoming his best friend.

The End (Sort of)

You know – it is SO nice to do fluff again. I was beginning to think I had forgotten how to do it.


	9. Moments to Themselves - Cullen/Evelyn Trevelyan

Title: Moments to themselves

Pairings: Cullen/Evelyn Trevelyan

Rating: Teen

Summary: Sometimes, it's nice to be normal

Timeline: Inquisition (After Crestwood & Cullen's confession of Lyrium)

Kink: First Kiss

Warnings: No spoilers

Author's Note: An Alternate 'First Kiss'

In similar timeline as 'A Friendly Ear' (Chapter 4)

'Moments to Themselves'

Evelyn Trevelyan peered round the corner, checking for any soldiers that were making their rounds. She knew that she was being stupid, that the soldiers were there for her protection. Cullen had insisted – but a girl needed privacy sometimes, and a chance to be herself.

Rather being the 'Herald of Andraste' or the 'Inquisitor'.

To think she had actually thought being 'Lady Trevelyan' had been bad enough, the joke was on her, it seemed.

The soldier that was patrolling the hall walked over to the entrance and she grabbed the chance, slipping from her spot at her door, hurrying past the tables and quickly opening the door that lead to Josephine's office.

However, the ambassador's office was not her destination as she closed the door behind her softly, turning to face the stairs off to her left. She loved Skyhold. It was strange but it felt like Skyhold was a piece of her, a piece she never knew she had been missing.

She ran her fingers over the stones of the walls as she walked down the stairs to, what she liked to call, the Art Gallery.

Evelyn chuckled as she remembered Cullen's face as she and her companions showed back up at Skyhold after a shop had opened selling furniture. She had been beyond delighted to see the variety of styles they offered that she nearly bought everything within the store.

Cassandra had eventually taken the purse from her to ensure she did not spend all of their money. It had been worth it in the end when she overheard everyone talking about how Skyhold was looking better.

She had seen Solas wandering around with a look that was part pride and part wistfulness and she wondered what he knew of Skyhold from his dreams. She had tried to ask him about it but he was always neatly dodging her questions, answering with questions of his own that distracted her from her original purpose.

Solas impressed her with his wily ways. She had never met anyone who deflected neatly as he did and she had met her fair share of people loving to play the 'Game'.

Evelyn smiled when she reached the gallery, linking her fingers together from behind as she twirled on her toes, taking in the sights before her. The light flickered from their braziers along the walls. The chairs and tables gleamed softly, polished.

The arts hung on the walls with drapery between them, displaying the works and adding warmth to the once bare and cold space. Some of the paintings had stolen her heart the moment she had seen them in the shop, calling out to her.

Others had been gifts from allies and followers, given to Skyhold for the Inquisition's efforts in solving situations and stopping battles.

She ran one hand over the bronzed gold frame, thinking back to Cullen's expression when he discovered them.

Cullen had been so stunned as cart after cart followed her into Skyhold that for a moment he had believed she had found refugees, only for Varric to inform him that there were no people in the carts.

Grabbing one of the sheets, he pulled it from the cart to reveal the chairs and tables she had acquired and gave her a questioning glance. She just smiled at him so he narrowed his eyes and moved over to another cart, doing the same and revealing the paintings.

He had grumbled, giving her a look and she shrugged, feeling her cheeks heat up while Varric snickered behind her.

Evelyn shook herself out of her thoughts, tightening her cloak around her, before she made her way over to the door that led to the kitchen. She pressed herself against the door and slowly opened it.

She peered around the door to see the Cook and the servants were not around. She let out a sigh of relief, entering completely and closing the door behind her.

The fire was still going, warming her up as she moved closer to the cupboard. She pulled down a bowl and the bag of sugar. She tipped sugar out into the bowl before returning the bag to the cupboard then made her way over to the small cupboard, enchanted with ice magic.

The butter was perfectly set and she removed a few slices, carrying it over to the bowl and dropped it in. grabbing a spoon she began to mix the butter and sugar together.

Once it was thoroughly mixed, she dipped her finger into the mixture, swirling it around before she brought her finger up to her lips, sliding it past and swirling her tongue around the digit.

"Hmm," the smooth and sugary taste calmed her nerves and gave her that feeling of being at home. It had been so long since she just tasted something rather than inhaling her food between missions.

There was always something: a mission to go on, an errand to run, an important person to meet. It was enough to drive her near insane and break some rules – just for the night.

She would go back to being the proper, prim and innocent Evelyn Trevelyan that everyone saw, while she kept this side to herself. She leaned against the counter, sighing heavily, wishing she could just drop the burden on her shoulders to the floor.

It was tiring being the Inquisitor, tiring of being the damn 'Herald of Andraste'. No matter how much she shouted at them, telling them that she was not the Herald, people insisted on calling her that.

She dipped her finger into the sugar mix again, then brought it up to her lips. She slipped her fingers past them, sucking and enjoying the sugary taste once more.

Evelyn leaned her hips against the counter, this time picking up her spoon and dipping it into the mixture. She slouched over, resting her chin her hand, scooping out some of the mixture and thoughtfully licked it.

She wondered if it was possible to get a sign made stating that she was not the Herald and just hit everyone over the head with it. She vaguely remembered Varric telling her of a friend of his wanting a similar sign.

She huffed out a laugh at the thought of Cassandra's expression if she were to start carrying such a sign. And Josephine would be scandalized – she knew that. However, it would save her breath.

"Inquisitor?"

Evelyn squealed as she straightened, spinning around – picking up her bowl as she did – to see her Commander standing in the doorway with a curious expression on his face, his blonde hair messy, probably due to running his hand through it.

He was dressed in black breeches and a simple white linen shirt. She had to blink at seeing him out of his armour for the first time since she had met him.

He looked…human. A stupid thing to think but with the armour on, he had always looked like a well-defended knight that never lowered his shield. Here, right now – he looked like a human being and she felt her grip tighten on the bowl.

"Would you stop sneaking up on me?" she hissed at him, narrowing her eyes at his wide ones. He had a bad habit of startling her, in situations that she really should not be startled.

"I'm sorry," he told her, contrition written over his face. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as she rested the small of her back against the counter. Damn the man for sneaking. She thought it was  _her_  specialisation to sneak up on people.

"Inquisitor?" he broke into her thoughts and she opened her eyes to see was standing next to the table. "Are you-" concern was on his face. "Do you wish me to leave?"

"No, it is fine," she told him. "You startled me." She realised that she was still hugging the bowl and felt her cheeks flush. She cleared her throat as she turned around yet found she was unwilling to put the bowl done.

She gritted her teeth. Why could she not put the bowl down?

Sensing Cullen's eyes on her, she turned her head, giving him a strained smile.

"Why are you down here?" she asked.

"I could not sleep. So I came here to see about having something to eat."

"Headache?" concern washed over her and he nodded. "Sit down, I can make you something." She turned back around, finally setting the damn bowl to the side. She glared at it for a moment before she steeled her nerves.

"You don't have to," she heard Cullen start and turned her head so she could see him out of the corner of her eye.

"Sit down," she ordered. He pulled out the chair and sat down, wide eyed, and she smiled. "Thank you. Now let me do this." She turned back, humming as she picked up a pan, turning on the heat and grabbing the eggs from the bowl on the other side of the oven. "Do you like omelettes?"

"That's fine," Cullen assured and she nodded as she cracked the eggs into a bowl, already mixing it with a fork as she placed the pan on the heat, her other hand already reaching for the tomatoes and a knife.

She placed them next to the bowl of eggs before she walked over to the basin, washing her hands and dried them on a towel before heading back to the pan. She held one hand over the pan to feel the heat, lifting up the bowl, tipping the eggs in.

She then turned back to the tomatoes, cutting them when she felt eyes on her and she looked over her shoulder to see Cullen was watching her with an amused expression.

"What?" she suddenly felt self-conscious.

"You are in your element," he told her. "You seem…happy." She smiled as she returned to the tomatoes.

"I guess I am. Baking was a hobby of mine. I do not really get the chance to bake anymore due to my duties." She smiled sadly, as she turned back to the eggs, testing it before she added the tomatoes then gently folded it

"Did you do a lot of cooking at home?" he asked.

"Whenever it was 'suitable'," she told him. "I liked working with the cooks, to learn the ways of cooking. Of course my parents did think it was unseemly for a noble child to be cooking but there was not much they could do since I was determined to learn."

She grabbed the plate, lifting the pan and tipped it, allowing the omelette to slide out onto the plate. She was happy with the way it turned out and grabbed a fork from a drawer.

"Here you go," she turned around with the plate in time to see Cullen sitting up straight. She arched an eyebrow and he gave her a flustered smile. Narrowing her eyes, she placed the plate in front of him then turned back to the kettle to pour him out some calming tea for his headache.

She hoped that the tea would also sooth him enough to get some sleep. He probably had spent of the nights over going over plans, making sure that Skyhold's defences were impregnable.

They still felt the aftermath of Haven and she knew that Cullen would not wish the people to face another battle like that in a place that should have been safe for them.

She did not wish to face another battle like that. She did not think she could endure trekking through the cold like that again. She shivered at the memories, the wind tugging at her hair, threatening to push her backward. The cold biting her at skin, the snow blocking her view, the way her limbs-

The sound of the kettle whistling brought her out of her thoughts and she swallowed, snapping to face it, picking up a cup with a shaky hand. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before she opened them again and went to make their tea.

Evelyn used the calming lavender for hers – she needed to sleep without nightmares. Chamomile for Cullen, it would reduce his headache – hopefully – and allow him to sleep.

She turned around to see Cullen was watching her with concern and she wondered if he had seen her shakiness. Evelyn gave him a smile, placing his cup in front of him, sitting her own cup in front of the seat across from him.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked.

"I will answer it to the best of my ability," she told him as she sat down, tucking the cloak tighter around her.

"What is with the cloak?" She raised her head to see him looking curious yet serious. "Not long after we arrived at Skyhold I have never seen you out the Cloak unless you are wearing your armour."

Evelyn sighed. "I get cold," she slowly admitted, taking a sip of her drink. He tilted his head and she smiled self-consciously, holding out her hand. She watched as he looked at her hand before looking at her face then at her hand again. "Take it." She gestured with her hand.

He gave her a doubtful look before he took her hand. His hand was warm, callused from using his sword and the hard work over the years.

"You are freezing!" he blurted out, shock clear on his face and she laughed as he brought his other hand up, rubbing her hand. She laughed.

"It used to drive Maxwell and Remi crazy when we were younger. I had more blankets than I could count because in the winter, it was worse. Have you ever seen Despair demons?" Cullen nodded. "That is what I was like when I was freezing. Cloaks wrapped around me. I never could get warm."

"So that is why you always have a cloak," Cullen said and she nodded, gently extricating her hand from his grip. He blushed, quickly yanking his own hands back as she felt her cheeks heat up.

"Being nearly frozen by the trek during the snow did not help," she jested wryly. "Just to let you know I have no plans to do that again." Cullen let out a strained laugh.

"You did not have the cloak in Haven," Cullen reminded.

"Tessa sent to me when I got the letter from my parents," She told him as she rubbed the material of her sleeve between her fingers. " _A taste of home_ , she said."

"Have you thought about asking her to come here?" he asked and she shook her head.

"It is not safe. Not after what happened in Haven."

"It sounds like your sister misses you," he reminded her gently as she returned her gaze to her cup.

"And I miss her but I am doing this for her. I am fighting for her." She stirred her spoon in her cup. "She is my little sister, when she was born," she smiled softly; "I swore that I would protect her. If it means protecting her from me, then I will do so."

"You believe you are dangerous?" She refused to meet his gaze; she could feel his eyes on her.

"I am certainly not a lucky person to be around right now," she told him, a wry smile crossing her lips.

Silence descended on them as she took a sip from her cup once more. The heat of the tea warmed her fingers; calming her. Cullen resumed eating his meal with gusto and she had to smile wryly when she noticed this.

"Good food?" she asked.

"Really good," he told her in between bites. "It is probably a good thing people do not know you can cook. They'd probably ask you to replace their cook." She laughed, feeling her cheeks heat up.

"Maybe I should offer my services," she told him, feeling impish. "It would get me out of the public eye for a while at least." Cullen chuckled and she found that she liked his laugh. She rarely had the chance to hear it.

"I think Cassandra would have issues with that," Cullen reminded her. She smiled. "Then again, you could try and placate the warring factions with good food." That made her laugh, tension releasing from her body.

Who knew the Commander had a sense of humour. She saw the way he was looking at her as her laugher died and tilted her head curiously.

"You rarely laugh," he told her. "It's…it's a nice sound." Cullen cleared his throat, his own cheeks heating as she felt a wave of shyness crossed through her. Evelyn rubbed her cheek, returning her gaze to her cup.

"Have you heard from your brother and older sister?" he asked, clearly wanting to change the conversation.

"Remi has found Maxwell," she confirmed, lifting her eyes to look at him. "They are making their way back to Ostwick but they are taking the time to check out the towns and small villages as they do." She chuckled, shaking her head at Cullen's curious look. "It seems Maxwell has grown a beard. Remi hates it. She wrote saying she told him to cut it but he has refused." She rolled her eyes.

"They sound admirable."

"They are  _bothersome_ ," she corrected before she smiled fondly, "but they would not be my brother and sister if they were not."

"It sounds you are closer to them rather than your parents. Is there a reason for that?"

Evelyn shrugged. "Maxwell and Remi pretty much raised me. My parents had a say in my life but more often than not, Maxwell and Remi were the ones to take care of me."

"It sounds…sad," Cullen murmured, placing his fork onto the plate and picking up his cup. He took a sip before wrinkling his nose.

Evelyn hid a smile as she picked up her own cup, taking a sip.

"I did not mind it. My parents were strict. Everything had to be done a certain way and they adored their parties which, to me, were nothing more than elaborate match-making schemes."

"Sounds tedious," remarked Cullen, putting the cup down, and she laughed.

"It was. I have actually lost count of how many times Remi scolded me for sneaking away from the parties."

"Is there anything you miss about your home?" Cullen asked with a wry grin. "I hear the things you are glad to get away from yet I am not hearing anything you miss."

Evelyn rolled her eyes in amusement before a slow smile crossed her face.

"Dancing," she told him, turning to look at him in the eyes. "I miss dancing."

Cullen arched an eyebrow, he finger following the rim of his cup.

"I must confess; that was not what I expected to hear."

She smiled sadly. "We all had something we were good at. Maxwell is very good with the public since it will be his job to deal with them once he becomes the Head of our family."

She took a sip of her drink, calming her nerves. "Remi is skilled with a sword, our grandmother taught her so she would know how to protect herself." She smiled, running her finger over the rim of her cup. "Tessa is music. She had always loved music. When she was a baby, it was the way for her to sleep. She loves to sing, always humming."

"And dancing?" encouraged Cullen.

"Dancing was freedom. It was freedom from politics, my parents, and my responsibilities. It was a way to get lost in the music and just dance, nothing else in the world exists except the next step you need to take."

"I do not think I have come across you dancing," he told her and she felt her cheeks heat.

"I do not dance for an audience," she told him quickly. He arched an eyebrow. "No," she let out a breathless laugh. "I just dance for me and I have not been dancing since I received the anchor. I have not had the time."

"Hmm, seems a shame," he lifted his cup to take a sip, looking at her over the rim. "It sounds like it would be a show." She swallowed, the thought of Cullen watching as she danced. She began to feel warm and she shifted in her seat.

"I have never danced for my family," she told him. "And they have tried."

"Is that how you became a rogue?" he asked. "It sounds like it would have been a natural transition." She laughed, shaking her head.

"I became a rogue because my tutor caught me picking locks on her chest," she admitted, embarrassed, rubbing her cheek. "She had taken my dancing shoes as punishment for not paying attention in History. So I decided I would take them back."

Cullen chuckled as he placed his cup down. "It sounds as if you were a mischievous child."

She scoffed. "I just did not like not being able to dance," she corrected. "So when she caught me picking the locks, she switched my training so I was now taking archery and dagger lessons. It helped, being a dancer, but it is more strenuous."

Evelyn narrowed her eyes at him as realisation dawned on her.

"Well played Ser, you just managed to get me to spill most of my family life."

Cullen laughed, it was rich and happy that it made her heart warm but she refused to let the smile cross her lips. She was supposed to be annoyed at him.

"What can I say? You rarely talk about your family. You know so much of us yet you keep to yourself."

"And Leliana's file on me?" she asked tartly, arching an eyebrow. Cullen arched his own eyebrow, amusement quirking his lips.

"As Cassandra said," he started, and she flushed, not realising that he had been near enough to hear their conversation, "We would prefer to get to know you rather than read the files. Beside – I was not sure if there anything in there you would not want others to know."

"I-" she was touched by his honesty. "Thank you." He shrugged.

"And if you ever wish to ask me anything, feel free to ask. Though I am not sure what I could tell you that you do not already know," Cullen teased

Evelyn rolled her eyes with amusement, a smile crossing her lips as she quietly conceded Cullen's point. She had made it a habit to go around asking people their history but had kept tight-lipped on her own.

"Very well," she told him, meeting his gaze once more. "Then I shall extend the same courtesy to you."

"Another question, then." he leaned forward and she arched an eyebrow. "What is in the bowl?" His eyes slanted to the side and she followed his gaze to see that he was looking at the bowl she had been gripping when he first entered the kitchen.

"Oh!" She gave him a nervous smile as she looked at him again. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" he parroted. "You were gripping it awfully hard when I surprised you; so much that I was amazed to see it had not shattered under your force." She glared at him. "Very well," He pushed his chair and panic surged through her as he stood up. "I shall just have to-" She leapt to her own feet, "-See for myself."

"Cullen!" she tried to block his path, tripping over the leg of the chair and nearly fell. Cullen caught her arm, holding her upright and her head snapped up to see he had already grabbed the bowl and was watching her with amused concern.

"You  _cheat_!" she exclaimed as she straightened and he let her go, bringing the bowl between them and looked at the mixture.

"Butter and sugar?" awe filled his voice and she swallowed when he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "I did not realise that Ostwick had such simple tastes."

"I…they do not," she blurted out, shifting on her feet before she cleared her throat. "My tutor – she was from Ferelden and she introduced me to it. I sort of became…addicted."

"I understand," he told her. "It is my favourite too – but I prefer to cook it." She wrinkled her nose, taking the bowl from him and hugging it protectively.

"You are not cooking this. I like it raw, thank you very much." Feeling childish, she stuck her tongue out and Cullen laughed, startling her at how  _joyful_  the sound was.

Watching him laugh was like watching him transform in front of her eyes. He was smiling, he looked healthy, and energetic for the first time since she had seen him – he always looked tired and stressed – and he looked younger. It took her breath away to see him just like this.

How many times has she fantasised about seeing him like this? She felt heat bloom in her cheeks before she averted her eyes.

Movement caught her attention as Cullen's laugher died and she let out an outraged gasp when Cullen stuck his finger into the mixture, swirling it around before he lifted out of the bowl.

Annoyed, she lifted her glare to him only to watch as he slipped his finger in between his lips. She bit her lower lip before reaffirming her glare when he locked her eyes with, smirking around his finger.

"You did not ask if you could have some," she reminded him tartly, twisting her body so her bowl was now out of his reach.

It was a futile task since he just arched his eyebrow in challenge, and reached around her – why did he have long arms?! – dipping another finger into her bowl. She whined in protest, ducking away from him and putting space between them.

"Make your own," she pouted and he laughed.

"How about we share that one?" He asked after he finished licking the sugar from his finger and waved the spoon in his free hand. She stared it bewildered before it dawned on her and she looked down at the bowl to see her spoon was missing.

Evelyn looked at him again to see him moving closer.

"If you eat that by yourself, you will end up with a sore stomach and Cassandra will no doubt find out what you have done."

"Just how will Cassandra find out?" she demanded, torn between letting Cullen have some – she just wanted to see him lick his finger again,  _bad girl_  – and keeping it all to herself.

"Because she is Cassandra and has a habit of knowing things you do not want to her to know," Cullen reminded her and she laughed, startled.

"Is that a warning you will tell her if I do not comply?" she asked.

"Leliana is more likely to tell her since she does have spies everywhere," Cullen jested. Evelyn rolled her eyes before she grudgingly held out the bowl.

Happiness sparkled in Cullen's eyes as he took the bowl and placed it on the table, taking his seat. Evelyn grabbed another spoon from the drawer, re-taking her seat watching as Cullen scooped out a spoonful, closing his eyes at the taste when he popped it into his mouth.

"It feels like-" He paused, unsure as she dipped her own spoon in.

"A taste of home," she finished and he nodded. "That was why I made it, I just wanted to feel at home, I guess." She licked her spoon before slipping the spoon into her mouth, enjoying the taste then pulled it out.

"Will you go home? After we have solved this situation?" he asked. She sighed, twirling her spoon.

"Did Cassandra or Leliana tell you of how they convinced me to stay?" She asked. He slipped a new spoonful into his mouth, shaking his head. "I said I would stay until the Breach was healed."

He swallowed carefully, pulling the spoon out.

"Oh," he whispered and she nodded, laughing mirthlessly.

"We can see how well that worked out," she muttered. "I was planning on going home once the breach was healed. I – for some reason – thought if the breach was healed, then the glow on my hand would fade."

"But since it did not, you stayed?" He asked.

"Not exactly," she admitted. "The attack at Haven made me realise that no matter what happens with the Breach – we still need to find out how the breach occurred and since I still have the anchor – I should stick around."

"And afterward?" he asked and she shrugged, scooping some of the mixture and licked it thoughtfully.

"I would not mind returning home. However, you did make me the Inquisitor so can I leave?" she asked. "Will you stay on after we have discovered the reasons to the Breach?"

"I…I had not thought about it," he admitted. "I mean – I assumed that if we were to survive what came next, I would probably stay on as Commander."

"You do not believe we will survive?" She asked. "You are not doing well in easing my fears." He chuckled.

"I am very sorry, allow me to correct myself. We are going to survive the upcoming battles."

"Thank you, for cursing us with future battles," she remarked, giving him a wry grin. "Very optimistic," she told him and got an eye-roll for her troubles. "I am sure Iron Bull is grateful."

"He seemed pretty grateful that you fought that Dragon," he reminded her and she groaned.

"Are you really going to bring that up, again?" she asked.

"You fought a Dragon – with Cassandra, a member of the well-known Dragon Slaying family. The news had spread throughout Thedas. There were some marriage proposals for Cassandra – not that you would know since she burned them."

Evelyn laughed at the thought of the Seeker giving a disgusted scoff then gleefully throwing the letters into the fire. A romantic at heart, Cassandra was looking for someone who could accept her for who she was as well as treat her like a woman.

"I am sure Iron Bull reaped the rewards of being a Dragon Slayer," Evelyn told him with a suggestive tone, laughing when he threw her an eye-roll. "Did you ever recover from-?"

"Let us never mention that again," he cut in hastily.

"Then let us never mention of me hunting Dragons again," she offered. He narrowed his eyes before he slowly conceded.

"I only have this to say," he started, and she arched an eyebrow as she slipped her spoon into her mouth, "Please be careful." She swallowed carefully, taking in his expression. He was genuinely worried for her and she slowly nodded.

"I promise," she told him and he nodded.

"Then the matter is sealed, so to say." She smiled and they finished off the bowl. Cullen took the bowl and the spoons, placing them next to the other dirty dishes before he turned to face her.

"May I walk you to your room?" he asked.

"Oh, you do not have to-" she stammered.

"I would like to," he cut in and she rubbed her cheek before she gave him a shy smile then a quick nod.

"Then I accept," she told him. He turned his body, opening the door and allowing her to step out first. He followed her, closing the kitchen door behind him and they made their way through the Art Gallery.

"You know, I saw Solas down here one night. He seemed…happy with the changes regarding Skyhold," Cullen told her, "Though I do wonder if we really need all these artworks."

"I like them," she told him with an amused smile. "And Josephine said they have been a hit with the people to come here."

"Then I suppose I can accept them as a boost to morale, though I doubt that was your original intention when you bought them," he told her, smiling wryly.

"You caught me out," she admitted with a laugh. "I fell in love with some of the paintings when I saw them. Like this one." She came to a stop in front of the art she had seen earlier.

It was a painting of the Hero of Ferelden with her husband, Alistair – another Grey Warden. The two of them had been instrumental in stopping the fifth blight in a year. In the painting, she could see the love they had for each other and it had made her heart ache when she saw it.

How often she had fantasised finding someone she could love, to find someone who could look at her like the way the husband looked at his wife.

"It is a remarkable likening of them," Cullen admired as he stood next to her and she looked up at him. "I don't think you understand how much this painting means to Leliana. She had been very close to them during the Blight."

"I saw her down here one night, in front of this painting," Evelyn admitted as she turned to look at the painting once more. "She looked…sad yet happy."

"She misses them, I believe," Cullen agreed. "I think knowing they are out there is what's keeping her going."

"She does not talk about them." Evelyn turned to look up at him.

"I think it hurts too much to talk about them," Cullen slowly admitted. "Josephine says Leliana has changed a lot from the days she knew the Spymaster. She believes she has steeled herself in preparation of what is ahead of us."

Evelyn turned to look at the painting once more, feeling the mixture of hope and sadness coursing through her.

"Do you ever wonder if you could find someone to love like they did?" she asked, gently touching the frame. "Knowing that person inside and out, knowing all their hopes and fears and accepting their dark side?"

"Is that what you are looking for?" he inquired and she sighed, stepping back from the painting and drawing her hand under her cloak once more.

"Once," she admitted, turning away and walking toward the stairs. Cullen followed her.

"Do you think you will look for it again?" he asked. She shrugged as they ascended the stairs.

"I cannot see how I could find love since everyone is determined to see me as the Herald. To them, I am a symbol, not a person." It hurt more than it should have but she felt a burden lift off her shoulders at finally confessing her thoughts aloud.

"Do you really think that?" he asked when they reached the door. He was mindful to keep his voice low since Evelyn could see the dim light from underneath Josephine's door.

"I-" The look on his face made her question herself before she shrugged helplessly. His lips thinned before he nodded, opening the door, and allowing her through.

Evelyn gave the startled soldier a small wave, getting a bewildered one in return before he straightened, saluting to Cullen as the man closed the door behind him.

"Don't worry – I am just walking her back to her room."

"Yes Commander!" the Soldier nodded. Evelyn tried her hardest to keep her amusement hidden at the panic on the young man's face. She only hoped Cullen would not question the man if he had seen her sneak down to the kitchen.

She did not want him to get in trouble for her own actions.

Cullen opening the door that lead to the hallway and onto her chambers broke her out of her thoughts and she stepped through, Cullen following her.

Cullen did not say anything as they walked. Evelyn stole a look from the corner of her eye to see that he was deep in thought and she wondered what he was thinking.

They reached her door and she felt a moment of disappointment. She rarely had the time to spend with the elusive Commander and tonight had been illuminating that she found herself wishing that it did not have to end.

Evelyn turned to face him, giving him a small smile before she inclined her head.

"So I guess I will bid you goodnight," she told him, her hand going to the knob when he touched her elbow gently, drawing her attention back to him.

"Forgive me if I speak out of turn," he started, "But I think you should consider inviting your siblings up here."

"Cullen-"

"You are not dangerous, Evelyn."

"You always do that," she whispered and he tilted his head, curiously. "Say my name when you think I'm being stubborn."

"You  _are_  being stubborn," he corrected. "And I had not realised I do that."

"Why do you call me Inquisitor even after I told you not to?"

"Respect," he told her, simply. She frowned. "You do a good job, even though I know you do not believe it yourself. Which is why I think having your brother and sisters here would do you the world of good."

"I-"

Cullen sighed, his hand leaving her elbow to rest on her shoulder and she could feel the heat even through her cloak and nightwear.

"You should think about it," he told her seriously. "If only at least invite one of them up here. I think it would help you out."

"What if something happens to them?" she asked, her voice hushed and her eyes dropping to the skin showing at his throat. "I cannot-" her breath hitched at the though.

"Trust in them," Cullen whispered, her eyes snapping back up to meet his dark ones. "If you cannot trust in yourself, trust in them."

"That is a low blow," she informed him and he smiled.

"But it has you thinking, right?" he asked and she felt her cheeks heat, her eyes darting away from his knowing ones.

She did miss her siblings. She missed Maxwell's comforting presence, Remi's strength, and Tessa's smile. She missed them yet at the same time, she was terrified. The danger was still real and out there, waiting to strike them when they were not looking.

"Just think about it," he whispered and she nodded. "Goodnight," he inclined his head. She gave him a short nod, disappointment curling in her stomach as she watched him walk away before she looked down at her feet.

Maybe she was fated -

Hands grasped her arms and her head snapped up in time for lips to press against hers. Her eyes widened as she tried to process what was happening when Cullen pulled away, looking down at her with dark eyes.

Evelyn exhaled in surprise before he lowered his head again, his lips meeting hers and this time, she was ready, meeting him halfway, her eyes closing when they met.

It was soft, unsure, and so sweet that it made her stomach flutter. He kissed her gently, kissing her lower lip then moving to kiss her upper lip.

He was teasing her, testing her. She kissed him back; kissing his full lower lip then pushed herself up onto her tiptoes. His hands left her arms, grasping her hips instead and she felt him smile against her lips.

Shivers ran down her spine as he licked her lips then sucked on her bottom one. She moaned as desire shot through her, her hands clutching his shoulders and parted her lips. He did not take the invitation straight away, gently tracing her lips with his tongue.

Then he deepened the kiss, astounding her, and she could taste the sugar and butter on his tongue. Her arms drew around his neck, pulling him down further so she could taste him.

Her hands took the opportunity to slide through his thick blonde locks, enjoying the chance to state her curiosity to know what it was like before one hand dropped down to his shoulder.

His hands rove over her back before one wrapped around the small of her back, pulling her in while his other hand followed her spine then buried his fingers into her dark hair.

She shivered at the feel of his clever fingers massaging the back of her neck and their lips turned sweeter, softer, and slower until they were exchanging small kisses.

He pulled away. She slowly opened her eyes to look at him.

It was strange, she had always heard of people saying that a person looked different after they had kissed for the first time but she had not believed it.

Now – she took in everything. His eyes were dark, occasionally flicking to her lips. His lips swollen as his tongue flicked out to taste his bottom lip. His blonde hair messy from where her fingers had been through them.

He felt strong against her, his arms sturdy around her body and had he always been this tall? His lips parted to speak.

"I-" he started but she pulled him back down, kissing him and he gripped her tighter, walking them backward until her back met her door, holding her up. One of her hands slid back into his hair, the feel of his curls on her skin was tempting.

Her other hand curled around the material of his shirt, needing to hold on as he deepened the kiss once more. She moaned into his mouth appreciatively – he certainly knew how to kiss.

They parted to breath and she hummed softly under her breath as she nuzzled their noses together.

"That was – nice," he cleared his throat and she smiled. He kissed her softly and she sighed happily.

"You kissed me," she whispered and he pulled away. Her eyes fluttered open, distorted by the sudden removal and she saw concern in his brown eyes.

"It was okay, right? I mean – I did not-" She smiled. "You are smiling at me, should I take that as a good sign?" She laughed joyfully. "Now you are laughing."

"I am sorry," she shook her head. "I am just…happy," she admitted shyly. "I did not think…"

"Was that your first kiss?" he asked and she nearly burst out laughing at the panic on his face, quickly shaking her head.

"No – well," she trailed off unsure how to explain it but Cullen had already jumped ahead.

"Maker's breath! I am sorry," he started to pull away from but she tightened her grip, refusing to let him go. "I should have been more considerate, what must you think-"

"Cullen," she placed her finger over his lips, silencing him. "It was perfect," she told him. He softened and she smiled. "I never – I thought –" she sighed, frustrated.

"I should not admit that I have wanted to kiss you for a long time," he slowly told her and her eyes widened. He smiled. "You were a distraction." She felt her cheeks burn as her lips curved into a smile.

"Really?" she frowned. "Wait – I was a distraction?" she asked. "Does that mean I am no longer a distraction?" He blinked before he burst out laughing. "Cullen!" Amused exasperation ran through her as she watched him laugh, a smile crossing her lips at the sight of his joy.

Cullen managed to calm down from his laugher, a chuckle escaping as he took a deep breath, kissing her again, stealing her breath, and then pulled away so he could look at her seriously.

"I have a feeling you are always going to be a distraction," he told her with amusement.

"A good one, I hope," she said and he smiled, dipping his head down to kiss her again. She met him eagerly, pressing herself up against him and he briefly tightened his grip on her before he pulled away.

"A very good one," he assured her. One hand slid up to her face and he caressed a cheek with a finger before giving her a soft smile.

"Good night," he whispered.

"Good night." He kissed her cheek then pulled away, giving her a smile. He turned around and walked away while she entered her room, closing the door behind her and rested her back against it.

A silly smile crossed her lips as her fingers came up to caress her bottom one.

He was going to be a very good distraction, and maybe – just maybe – she would find what she was looking for with him.

The End


	10. Forgive Me - Varric/Malika Cadash

Title: Forgive Me

Pairings: Varric/Malika Cadash (kind of)

Rating: Teen

Summary: They remember, and everything is awkward

Timeline: Inquisition – after 'Forget Me Not'

Warnings: This is the other part of the Prompt where Cole does not help Malika (thus, she remembers)

'Forgive Me'

Varric paced nervously in front of the fire, occasionally looking up the stairs to where the throne loomed. He looked at the door next to the throne, waiting for it to open and to reveal the Inquisitor.

With each minute that ticked by, he felt himself getting more nervously. His palms were clammy; he rubbed them against his breeches. His mouth felt dry and he would look at the tumbler with whisky before shaking his head, denying the drink.

The drink was part of the reason why their situation was as awkward as it was.

Varric sighed, rubbing his chin. He came to a stop in front of the fire, looking at it.

They had tried their hardest to keep a lid on their night, to try to forget it but it was difficult.

Malika soon stopped asking him to come with her on missions, taking Cole instead. She then put a stop to  _that_. Apparently, Cole had come too close a few times to saying what was on her mind.

Iron Bull was the first one to know what happened. Varric had seen the Qunari's eye look between the two of them then pin Varric with understanding.

Even now, Varric was not sure what had given them away, but he must have looked guilty and Malika had looked away, embarrassment crossing her face.

Varric had tried to talk to Malika since that night with no success. She avoided him as much as she could and it made things tense between them, and in time – their group as a whole.

Cassandra was always looking between them with concern and suspicion. Varric could see it in the Seeker's face that she wanted to demand answers but she held her tongue, probably out of respect for Malika, since the two warriors had formed a bond.

Solas merely stayed quiet, casting concerned glances whenever he thought they were not looking.

Varric wished he knew how to fix the chasm between him and Malika. He had not realised just how much he had come to care for the other dwarf until she was no longer a steady presence in his life.

He missed the flirting and teasing they exchanged, the sight of her smile and the sound of her joyful laugher.

He missed having her back on the field. He hated the thought of her out there without him to give her backup. He missed seeing her fight, dominating the battlefield as she charged in with her sword and shield.

The way her armour glittered in the sunlight, a knight in shining armour – he once called her, getting laugher. The fierce determination lining her face and her sad yet satisfied expression when they slayed their enemies.

She once told him that she hated to take a life, but out there, she had no chance to talk them down.

He missed the way she would struggle with locked doors; he would remind her, in a teasing voice, that she had someone who was a master of picking locks at her side.

The way she would stand off to the side, giving him an amused smile as she gestured to him to show off. The shake of her head and the smile curling her lips once the doors swung open under his masterful touch.

He missed the way she would tease him about having to come to his rescue – that she never thought that he could be considered as a damsel in distress, leaving him fluttering his eyelashes and near swooning, which had her doubled over with laugher, clinging to his arm for support.

The way Cassandra would give a disgusted snort, looking away but failing to hide the smile of amusement that made her look soft in that moment. The way Solas would chuckle into his hand in the background.

He missed the late night talks they would share in front of his fireplace, just talking about everything and nothing. She had always found it difficult to sleep after she awoke from her coma and the destruction of Haven had only made it worse.

He told tell her stories of his brother, of Kirkwall and of the Champion who had become his best friend in the years they spent together.

She would tell him stories of her parents, of her smuggling days, and how much she missed being at home. Ironically enough, she had wished to leave that life behind when she was younger. Now – she wanted nothing more than to get rid of the mark and to feel her parents' embrace once more.

Varric missed having Malika in his life and he hoped that he would be able to fix his mistakes, to make amends and to see her smile once more.

He once believed that hope was a futile thing but right now, it was all he had.

The sound of throat clearing caused him to turn and see Malika standing next to him with a pensive expression. She was dressed in simple brown breeches and black cotton shirt with a cloak.

Her dark brown hair twisted in a plait, resting over her right shoulder, giving the impression she was younger than she looked.

"Malika," he greeted, his nervousness coming back full force.

"Varric." She gave him a short nod and he exhaled heavily rubbing the back of his neck.

"Can I get you a drink?" He asked then wished he could smack himself, "Of water or tea?" Her face wrinkled with distaste and belatedly, he remembered that she hated tea. "Of course, not tea, I mean, you  _hate_ the stuff-"

"Varric," she cut in and relief shot through him, clearing his throat. "Can we talk?" He nodded.

"Er…where do you want to go?" He asked. He knew she would not suggest her room – too many memories. He also knew that she would not want to talk here, too many ears surrounding them and there was Vivienne above them.

"How about the battlements?" she asked, shifting on her feet. "Where you brought me to meet Hawke?"

A fitting place, he thought.

"Okay." He nodded. They left the fireplace, walking out of the castle in silence. Varric was keenly aware of everyone's eyes on them and he wondered just how much everyone knew.

Iron Bull had kept silent on the situation – he had not even once tried to speak to Varric about it, something Varric was intensely grateful for; yet at the same time, it made him apprehensive. He never knew what the Qunari was thinking.

The sound of hacking brought him out of his thoughts to see Cassandra in front of the dummy she was always training with. She saw them out the corner of her eye and turned her head, giving them a curious glance then gave them a short nod, returning to what she was doing.

Malika led the way to the stairs and he followed her up. The curve of her buttocks made him remember their night and he closed his eyes for a moment, willing away the memories.

It always surprised him at how strong they could be, wondering what it was that made them so potent. Maybe it was because he had slept with someone other than Bianca or maybe it could be down to the fact that it had been so long.

They reached the battlement, Malika walking over near the edge and he joined her, his throat suddenly parched.

Now he wished he had brought some courage with him. He never knew he could be so damn nervous. He never felt his nervous when he helped Hawke or Malika face down dragons.

Varric looked at Malika in time to see her taking a deep breath then she turned to face him. He knew if he let her speak, he was going to lose his courage.

"I screwed up," Varric admitted. Her eyes widened, her lips parting. "I called you by the wrong name and I can't take that back." She swallowed, nodding as she looked off to the side. "But I want you to know that I never thought I was with Bianca."

That caught her attention, her eyes snapping back to meet his and he swallowed nervously at the shock in her eyes.

"I knew who I was with…I just…reflex," he muttered lamely. Her brows furrowed in confusion before her expression cleared, understanding dawning on her.

"You haven't…"

"Not since Bianca," he admitted. She gave him a teary nod, her head dropping so she could look at her boots, scuffing the toe against the stone.

"I-I don't…" she rubbed her arms, "I don't think that makes it any better."

"It was not an excuse," he told her, wishing he could touch her but he knew she would back off if he was to try. "It's just an explanation." She scoffed and he winced. "A shitty explanation," he admitted before shrugging helplessly. "But it's all I have."

She slowly nodded before she sighed.

"I am not going to lie," she looked at him, "It hurts." He closed his eyes. " _You_  came to me, but I was the one left feeling like I was used as a replacement– which is stupid because Bianca and I are nothing alike."

Varric conceded to her point. They were nothing alike. Bianca had light brown eyes, light brown hair, and pale skin. Malika had blue eyes; dark brown hair and dark skin that made his fingers itch to touch.

He curled his fingers inward once more, resisting the urge to touch her.

"I don't even know what to do, Varric," she told him, her tone so desperate that he looked at once more. "I had the chance to let Cole remove my memories but I chose not to because I did not think that was fair. Yet, we have this between us and I cannot see a way for us to move forward, to move on from that night."

She turned to look over the battlements once more, pushing back the stray lock of hair that escaped her plait before she sighed sadly, her lips curling downward.

"We never had a chance, did we?" She asked and he closed his eyes, in defeat. He hated that she had to ask that question and he hated that he could not give her the answer she wanted to hear.

"No," he slowly admitted, meeting her gaze to see the clear heartbreak. "I wish there was but-"

"You can't let her go," Malika finished.

It stung, more than it should have, but it was the truth. He could not let Bianca go; she was tightly intertwined deep within him.

Malika sighed, drawing his attention to her once more.

He had a willing woman before him, who wanted him. She was beautiful and every time he saw her, the memory of their night haunted him.

He had never been that rough with Bianca. However, Malika, she had begged for it, wanting whatever he could give her, and she returned it wholeheartedly.

He had never had a woman who wanted him as bad as Malika had that night. He never felt he had been worthy enough for that kind of attention.

Not even Bianca had pushed him like that, never gave more than she could. They played it safe – not that they had a choice considering the Carta did have a price on their heads.

It had been a change of pace, being able to mark someone, to be rough with them, to take risks without fear of consequence.

Malika had borne his marks for a good while after their night together. He had borne her marks too; her nail marks down his back and over his buttock. The bite mark on his chest and the love marks on his neck.

Even her scent was enough to trigger his memories and he wondered if she was reminded of their night together whenever he did something, like he remembered just by seeing her hands.

He sighed, turning to look out at the scene, his hands going to the stone and he wished with everything that he could fix this, that he could stop loving Bianca long enough to give Malika a chance.

Nevertheless, she deserved someone who could be with her, deserved someone who could give her their whole heart and to be with someone without fear they would leave her for someone else should it ever happen.

Moreover, he was  _not_  that person, no matter how much he wished he could, no matter how willing she was.

Malika stood next to him and he watched her out of the corner of his eye, wishing he knew what to say that would help her but there was nothing and he wondered if he was going to lose her friendship after this.

One mistake, it took one mistake to screw something he cherished. He guessed he was doomed to keep looking back at his past, to write about them and to linger on the 'what-ifs'.

"I miss you." Her voice was low that he almost missed it. He turned his head to see she was staring out the sparring ring. "I miss spending time with you; I miss your teasing and your jests. I miss the way you have my back out in the field."

It made his heart swell to know he was not the only one missing their friendship but at the same time, it broke it. Could they go back to how they used to be? To forget that one night they shared and the knowledge they could not be together?

"Despite everything," He started and she turned to face him. He gave her a small smile, "I do not regret our night together. I just regret how it ended." She stared at him, wordless for a moment before she gave him a slow nod, a small smile crossing her lips.

"I-thank you," she whispered and he gave her a nod in return. She turned fully to him making him curious as he turned to her. "Maybe we should start anew?"

Varric frowned, unsure of where she was going with this when she held out her hand.

"Hi, I am Malika Cadash," she said, and understanding dawned on him, a corner of his lips quirking up in a smile, "It is an honour to meet such an esteem writer as yourself."

He chuckled, taking her hand and shaking it slowly.

"And I am pleased to meet your acquaintance. I am Varric Tethras."

Maybe they had a new chance at their friendship and he swore that he would do better by her this time.

It was what she deserved.

The End

Part B finished. I left things on somewhat better terms than the last one

To be honest – I am not so sure about this one

Thanks to Pervinca for betaing!


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